Miami According to Brooklyn: Dating Advice

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Most of these guys who hang out in this club scene crap have no respect for women whatsoever. They're just out trying to get their dick wet, which is horrible. I see it every day. Women should be treated with a little more respect. I have literally carried girls out of here and other clubs I've worked at because somebody spiked their drink with something. And there are guys who see these girls as easy prey. It's very animalistic in a way. Some dirtbag scum bag looks at a woman and just thinks, Wow, why don't I try to get in that girl's pants tonight. And he'll just get her a bunch of drinks to get her wastes, so she loses her inhibitions, and then he'll fully take advantage, which is fucking horrible.

But then again, there are also those women who take advantage of men, acting all cutesy and fucking kissing my ass to get free drinks. That happens a lot around here, too. Because there are a lot of these girls who think just because they're cute and attractive, they don't have to pay for a goddamn thing, which is fucking stupid.



But honestly, that is the way it works. If a guy wants to try to impress a woman, he'll be like, Hey, why don't I buy you a drink? And that can be used two ways. That can be a really good icebreaker, or it could be that some dumb fucking broad is trying to take advantage of this hopeless jackass. And in that case, he deserves it because he's fucking stupid.

But there actually are those few guys who are very sincere and would really like to meet a nice girl. But nine times out of ten, the club is not a good place. It's more of a meat market. It is what it is. But it's kind of sad to see some of these poor saps; I kind of take pity on them. Maybe it's because I'm not a scumbag and couldn't give a shit about these jackass girls who come here. But at the same time, I have an amazing girlfriend, and I met her here, where I work, in a club. I met her through mutual friends, but I still met her in a club. So it can always happen - there are always those needles in the haystack.

And these things online like match.com and crap are fucking horrible. Those things scare the shit out of me. You've got some poor sap in like, Omaha, Nebraska who thinks he's gonna meet some hot chick in a beach town somewhere. But that's never going to happen, because nine times out of ten what he's gonna meet is some 800-pound war pig.

But the fact of the matter is, not every guy is a scumbag, but also not every girl is a fucking princess either. Some of them are dumb sluts, and all they want to do is be seen with the right people, and they'll fuck whoever to be seen with those people, which is horrible. Maybe people should actually take time to go up to somebody with some sincerity, and say Hi, how are you, I noticed you across the way, you're a pretty attractive person, and would you like to have a drink with me? Sure, that could lead to some horrible rejection, but there are those times where that could have been the person that's your one, and you would never even know about it.

So for everybody out there, what I would say is, the person you would never take into consideration, take into consideration. Everybody deserves a fair chance. A lot of people say, I'll never date this person, but as it turns out, that could be the person they've been looking for their whole life. That's true, and it's honestly the way I feel.

Five Albums I'm Listening To This Week: 1) Lifetime, Jersey's Best Dancers, 2) Morning Again, Hand of Hope, 3) Murder City Devils, In Name and Blood, 4) Refused, The Shape of Punk to Come, 5) Sex Positions, Sex Positions.

Quote of the Week: "Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit." - e.e. cummings.

Oh, and if you see Carmel Ophir, give him a hug!


--by Brooklyn, as told to Arielle Castillo

(Photo by Justin Namon.)



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