MP3 of the Day: "Hold This" by Uncle Scotchy, Playing Bougainvillea's Every Thursday

The ever-elusive Scotchy as rendered by Jamie Tao.

A man of many beards and a million sunglasses, local blues rocker Uncle Scotchy is so rarely seen -- truly seen -- that some of you have begun to doubt his very existence. Admittedly, the guy's an enigma wrapped in a riddle inside a nutshell buried at the center of a brick-sized 'shroom brownie ... Yet, rest assured, Scotchy isn't merely some figment of our riff-deprived collective mind. He is very real and he's out there tearing shit up.

According to the official MySpace biography, Uncle Scotchy was "born in or around 1950, and raised in an orphanage just west of Turkey Neck Falls, Montana" where he cared for "his mentally challenged twin brother, Ezra" before meeting, wooing, and losing "Matilda Anne Magillicutty, daughter of famous horse breeder, Anus Magilligutty." From there, the wild saga goes on and on and on. Go get the unedited version here.

Then, if the bio's still not proof enough, all you doubters need to ponder today's free slab of digitized muzak, "Hold This" by Unk himself. It's the sound of a one-man blues band boozing and blazing its way from living mystery to living legend, using nothing more than guitar, harmonica, "cajonbassdrum," and the human voice. Indeed, you shall be swayed.

MP3: Uncle Scotchy - "Hold This"

Every Thursday. Bougainvillea's, 7221 SW 58th Ave., Miami. Set starts at 8 p.m., and there's no cover. Ages 21+ with ID. 305-669-8577; bougiesbar.com.