Review: Miami Bass Warriors, Miami Bass Warriors 12"

​Miami Bass Warriors
Miami Bass Warriors 12"
(Palm Tree Snuff/¿Que Pasa M.I.A.?)

You ever stand around and realize that you are completely surrounded by fucking children? Yeah, it happens... that's how old age dawns upon you and it don't matter how cool and with it your little record collection is, you'll be hard-pressed to explain to the "kids" what it is all about. So, realizing my worth as narrator here, let's see what the Miami Bass Warriors (MBW) do: other than make me out to be the square bald guy with whiskey breath bullshit on the corner. Whatever, see if I care, see if I give a shit, cuz I rode that jitney whilst Taylor Dane blasted and Power 96 was the epitome of cool.

Taking their cue from an endemic South Florida art form, the MBW kick it old school with a tongue firmly in cheek. Breakbeats, freestyle, STDs, full-throttle bass that doesn't give up and lyrics that'll make grandma faint cuz she knows they're true! And old school it is, following in the fine tradition of ghetto bass and forgotten heroes Erotic Exotic, the MBW have dropped a very savvy 12" of pure lower end fun, three original tracks heavy on the fun ("Bro, That Chick's a Basser," "Breakfire" and the local beaut "Going Back to Calle Ocho") and three instrumental counterparts to get the needle dropped and the karaoke out.

And it's true, if you didn't feel the funk and the bass in your innards back in the confusing end of the '80s and before you "discovered" alternative rock and roll sounds, this is what ruled the South Florida airwaves. And it was good and nasty and sticky and I am glad that Jose El Rey, El Tigre, Debbie D and Otto Von Schirach have the nerve and the memory to bring this beat back with the fun it was always meant to have.