Fuck WMC: Top 10 Reasons Techno Sucks

protected-raver001.jpg
via http://www.i-mockery.com/antirave/idiots.php
Caution: shitty music ahead.
All I listen to is country music. I drive a truck with a shotgun rack and a confederate flag and I don't believe in ipods and I drink and drive cause it's fun, but I think all those grass smoking, cocaine snorting, ecstasy headed hippies need to take a shower, get a job, and join the NRA before the government takes all our rights away.

Oh yeah, and techno sucks, and fuck the Winter Music Conference. The last thing Miami needs is a bunch of foreigners running the streets, taking drugs, spending money, and dancing suggestively to their terrible music.

Here are my Top 10 reasons techno sucks:
10. Computers are only meant for two things, watching porno and ordering pizza. If I see you in the club with a laptop I'm taking it and smashing it over your stupid raver head.

9. Never trust a music whose drug of choice is one that makes everything seem better.

8. We heard it was invented by homosexuals. And they weren't even embarrassed to say so out loud.

7. Haven't they ever heard of an equalizer? The bass is way too loud.

6. Their concerts sell more water than they do beer.

5. They allow women to participate AND have a say.

4. Every song sounds the same, like an old Nintendo going through a garbage disposal.

3. The Germans are better at it than we are, and the Mexicans are taking all the jobs.

2. My first wife left me for a DJ.

1. There's not a single decent Country bar on South Beach all week.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...