Blast From the Past: The Pink Lincolns - Suck & Bloat

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In honor of Richard "Big Stiff" Konwinski, who passed this past July in Tampa, I'll be juggling between the County Grind and Crossfade blogs doing my Blast From the Past thing on the record label that he founded, Stiff Pole Records. In my opinion, it came to define an exciting era in Florida's punk rock scene.

Hotter than your sister's panties, The Pink Lincolns came out strong in 1994 with their first full-length release for Stiff. Suck AND bloat. You be a good bubbuleh and assume that means whatever you think that means.

Twelve tracks of pure snot as only the boys from Florida's other coast could've conjured. I won't even go into specifics because I know where my paychecks come from and I don't want to blow my load early... plus the Irish rot-gut's almost gone. Know this: Pink Lincoln emulators have existed since this band's creation.

That is no lie. The cover art is by freaking Iggy Pop! Pedigree you wanna check? Check your balls first! This is classic pinkage from beginning to end. Personnel on this recording were the usual vocals of Chris Barrows, the guitars of Dorsey Martin and Paul Johnston with the very adept and with-it rhythm section of Jim Belogna (bass) and Fred Stolz (drums).

Classics here are "Lower Yourself," "3 Chord Song," "Monsters" (previously issued on a Sumo Fumes 7"), "Sleeping Song" and the song I dedicate my bitch ex-wife: "I'm Fond of You."

Plain and simple, beautiful four-on-the-floor and super-snotty punk rock like the framers meant. Excellent. Voyeuristic. Emotional. Sexy. And very fucking pink! Jailhouse Records has re-issued a re-mastered version since, but if you'd rather spend five minutes on eBay or Amazon.com as opposed to playing ass-grab with the secretary, you might be able to find an original Stiff CD or even better, a fold-out LP.

Or go play ass-grab with the sec: stay pink. Lower yourself!!!