Ten Musicians Better Than Wyclef Jean to Lead Haiti

Categories: Useless Lists
Wyclef Jean.jpg
adanbouzoua via flickr
Strumming his way to the presidency?
His heart seems to be in the right place, but Wyclef Jean's political aptitude is tone deaf.  Don't get us wrong, welcoming President Jean to office would be pretty cool, but he might not exactly know how to help a nation that lost 220,000 of its residents and most of its infrastructure in that massive quake in January. Besides being Haitian we are not sure what other qualification he has, not including heading a poorly run charity.

We thought we'd compile our own list of musician candidates to run Haiti. They're not Haitian but they have other qualities:

10. Ted Nugent
This crazy-ass hard rocker is more politically conservative than Rush Limbaugh but could probably straighten out corruption in Haitian government. A die-hard proponent of the Second Amendment, he likes his guns and that could be a benefit amidst the lawlessness in Haiti these days. Plus he wouldn't be a drain on relief supplies. He hunts for his own food.

9. Jimmy Buffet
If Nugent will kick Haitian ass into submission, Buffet and his easy listening tunes will lull them into drunken stupor. He has unfettered access to the island nation in his very own seaplane--which is a big deal considering the traffic jams at Port-au-Prince airport. That will help him deliver his Margaritaville liquors to keep the Haitians properly inebriated for the reconstruction of their country.

8. Bob Marley
Even dead this reggae legend will probably be able to lead his Caribbean brothers better than Wyclef. His platform can be culled from the Legend song list--Exodus, Get Up, Stand Up, Waiting in Vain (for aid), Redemption Song, etc.

will i am.jpg
mariachily on flickr
Wyclef or will.i.am? Anybody's guess.
7. will.i.am.
Wyclef's doppelganger with the Black Eyed Peas, has at least as much political experience as the Fugees member and more clout if selling albums counts for anything. Plus, he did that Obama song, "Yes We Can," in 2008 so you know he's in good with the American prez. At the very least he can be Wyclef's body double.

6. Bruce Springsteen
Hard to argue against bringing in the Boss to run a country. Springsteen has dabbled in politics for decades and long been a champion of anti-corporate causes. That'll be needed in Haiti with rebuilding likely to bring planeloads of American corporations looking to capitalize on the millions of Haitian poor (kind of how they do in this country). Plus the raspy voice is sure to engender passion during his inauguration speech.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...