Kat Stacks's Top Ten Twitter Tips for Hoing Like a Total Pro
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September 22 at 9:17 p.m.: "Go 'head tell 'em why you mad, cause you broke & you sad & aint nobody tryna fuck you. - Lil Kim"
Indeed ... Point is, Stacks herself is some skank-in-waiting's Lil Kim. And she's teaching a graduate course in "How to Ho Like a Pro" via Twitter. Welcome to the 21st century, people.
10. "H.A.T.E.R.S = H.aving A.nger T.owards E.veryone R.eaching S.uccess"
Turning a loaded word into an acronym is a very useful teaching tool. Here Professor Stacks employs this pedagogic trick to illustrate envy for all her little ones. First lesson, ladies, is you gonna get hated on. But don't sweat the flatass, chicken-necks! Them bitches just be jealous! Really, it's all about self-esteem.
9. "Think twice before cheating o_O http://tinyurl.com/2v58sem"
Another basic tenet: Every aspiring ho needs to realize that she's not invincible. In addition to STDs and stalkers, there are other dangers. Like pissing off your main man. (See the above TinyURL. Holy shit, right?) Say or do some dumb shit and you might get a knife in your implant.
8. "I never cheat on a man I love unless it's for revenge"
Yes, this one (somewhat) contradicts the lesson learned above. But not really 'cause Professor Stacks never said, "Don't cheat!" You gotta listen closer, little ho. She said, Think twice. There are plenty of good reasons for creeping around behind your man's back, like revenge (duh), money, drugs, food, fun, Ferraris, hair extensions, jewelry, diamonds, new boobs, boredom, etc.