Top 5 Reasons Your DJ Hates You

​Ask a DJ, and it would appear that a lot of club patrons seem to confuse them for human jukeboxes which they think they can crowd around, prop their drinks on, lean back on, and prompt for every crappy song that tickles their drunken fancy. Granted, some contexts and scenarios lend themselves to a DJ working with the crowd's silly inebriated whims -- weddings for instance, which are known for some ridiculous laughable amateur DJs, anyhow.

But club DJs are masters of their craft, adept at the art of expertly selecting and mixing a repertoire of choice material that will set the tone for and make or break the enjoyment factor of any night at the club.

Not only can they do without your unsolicited advice mid-set, but they also need the personal space and concentration to deliver the goods. We surveyed some of the top resident DJs in town, and found out what's pissing them off the most about you annoying, bothersome bastards.

1. Requests

You've staked out your choice of venue for the night's dose of dancefloor carousing and paid the cover charge to be there. Part of the price of admission is allocated to the salary of a professional DJ that makes  sure you have the perfect soundtrack for this experience, so that you can be free to get hammered and slobber on people at the bar. In many cases this DJ has been flown in from some exotic location to deliver a signature sound and specialized playlist, which people have come  specifically to hear. Going over to the DJ booth and requesting that he plays Bon Jovi in the middle of a techno set is just a dumb move. Let the DJ do his thing, otherwise stay home and play with your iPod.   

2. Interruptions

Button-pressing Laptop DJs notwithstanding, disc jockeying is a skill that requires more than a fair bit of concentration in order to deliver a seamless flow of beats and blend one track after the next with smooth and timely precision. Part of this process requires the DJ to pay close attention to the beat matching with a barrage of unwanted noise and distraction happening all around them. Whenever you see a DJ standing up there with a half frown, cradling one headphone against their ear, they're not just doing it to look cool. They're trying to juggle beats that are completely out of sync and avoiding a train-wreck. Tapping on their shoulder and chatting them up while they're doing it is only adding to the difficulty of the task.     

3. Shout-outs

Oh, tonight's the birthday of that girl you're trying to get in the sack, and you want to give her a shout-out? Pick another angle, dude. DJs are not there to make announcements or give shout-outs for you, unless they're spinning at a strip joint and about to call the next dancer onstage. It all goes back to the last two reasons we stated.   

4. Hanger-ons

To quote one local DJ: "I really dislike it when that one vampiric girl decides to come behind the DJ booth and suck out all your vibes, disrupting all the energy you're channeling out onto the dance floor... major party foul! Somebody get this creepy chick away from me!" That pretty much says it all. Yes, groupies are or should definitely be a perk of being a DJ, but don't cramp the DJ with your clingy sycophantic attention-seeking while he's trying to do his job.

5. Self-promoters

If you're a producer or DJ yourself, the worst way to make a professional contact is by trying to slip a DJ your demo for them to play in the middle of a set, or ask them if you can jump on the decks for a bit. There are ways to get your music heard or procure a gig, but annoying a DJ with your shameless opportunistic self-promotion and jumping into their spotlight while they're playing is definitely not the way to go.