Ten Worst Cover Songs: From Vanilla Ice vs. Public Enemy to All Time Low on Rihanna
|Rob Van Winkle is no Chuck D.|
Notably missing from Crossfade's list are the pain-inducing covers that have been discussed to death. Examples: Celine Dion's cover of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" (need I say more?); anything Limp Bizkit ever covered (George Michael's "Faith," The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes," Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here"); Britney Spears's cover of The Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction."
Here's what's left: Some unturned stones of awful, some familiar ones that haven't had nearly enough negative attention, and some that will leave you retching. The only antidote? Check out the originals.
10. Forever the Sickest Kids, "Crazy Train" (Original: Ozzy Osbourne)
It's not just any old band that can make Ozzy Osbourne sound like an outtake from High School Musical. Can't you just see a shirtless Zac Efron pepping up his multiethnic, tween-friendly basketball teammates by giving them a winning smile and then launching into "Crazy, but that's how it goes..."?
9. Devo, "Ohio" (Original: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young)
When Devo works it's a laugh, but a song about the Kent State shootings just didn't need to go sci-fi.
8. 30 Seconds to Mars, "Stronger" (Original: Kanye West)
Jared Leto, remember when you did that brooding thing on My So-Called Life? OWN that thing. We still girl-crushed on you back then. I don't mind you getting a little piss on Kanye, but it's more than a bit rude to the original Daft Punk sample. And P.S. the formulaic slow-down-the-lyrics-for-depth thing isn't working for you. Sorry.
7. Bloc Party, "Say it Right" (Original: Nelly Furtado)
Bloc Party is usually good. Just not here. Sometimes a pop song needs to be a pop song, not something a British bloke is crying over.
6. Bruce Springsteen, "Jersey Girl" (Original: Tom Waits)
Springsteen lovers, please take a deep breath before blowing a capillary. Just because the Boss seems to own New Jersey does not mean every song with the state's name in the title should be part of his repertoire. He turned Waits's gravelly goodness into an arena ballad.