Ten Awesome Anti-Christmas Songs to Help Cope with the Holidays
|Hardcore band Fear has a message for St. Nick: "Fuck Christmas!"|
Dealing with family you haven't seen all year. Remembering why you haven't seen them all year. Being too broke to buy appropriate yet clever crap at Brookstone for everyone. Not being able to get anything important done. Tolerating neighbors' stupid light displays and crappy Christmas carols. Reflecting on life and loss in general ... The list goes on and on.
We here at Crossfade have a gift list for those who have nodded their little eggnog heads to any of the previous sentences.
10. Fear's "Fuck Christmas"
Pretty straightforward. It's tough to argue with the logic and delivery.
9. Tom Leher's "A Christmas Carol"
Old school and brillant. A great take on the gross commercialism of the holiday, it's packed with some helpful hints.
8. The Hollywood Undead's "Christmas in Hollywood"
West Coast pop-hop at it's finest. You'll be dancing and chuckling around your dumb apartment as you steal your roommate's last beer before you go out and drive through rush-hour traffic. That's what the holidays are all about.
|The intrepid John "Dr. Dirty" Valby.|
7. John Valby's "It's Beginning to Look Like Syphilis"
John Valby's lyrics are always a treasure chest of eloquent filth. His Christmas ode has enough infected anal references to keep you away from the ham for a while.
6. Weird Al Yankovic's "The Night Santa Went Crazy"
Oh Weird Al ... What can't you make into a zany song? The man reveals his seldom explored morbid side with catchy lyrics like: "The night Santa went crazy/Tthe night Kris Kringle went nuts/Now ya can't hardly walk around the North Pole/Without stepping in reindeer guts."