WVUM Still Working Toward That Woodie!
|Sebastian the Ibis insists: "Vote now, mofo!"|
Thanks to WVUM 90.5 FM, though, Miami can continue to dream about bringing home a big beautiful Woodie, polishing it to a high gloss, and putting it on proud public display.
That's right, the University of Miami student broadcaster has made the Final 10. But what are the chances it'll actually win this thing? Well, Crossfade recently held an online roundtable with several WVUM staffers. And despite an annoying affinity for emoticons and a penchant toward Four Loko-level giddiness, these peeps seem to have their shit on lock.
In other words, we might have a winner! Vote now and then see the cut for WVUM's victory strategy, acceptance speech plans, and more.
Question 1: What are WVUM's strategies for making it through the final round of ten?
Duncan Ross: "We have built a small altar to Chango and Joel Osteen."
Kevin Mason: "Really, smoke a bunch of Swisher Sweets, drink Henny, ask a certain eboard member to marry me ;)"
Komal Paladugu: "Intense mouse-clicking with the Rocky theme 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background, and occasionally wiping the persperation from my forehead with a sweatband on my wrist."
Zoe Brown: "Work violently under mobsters."
Amber Robertson: "We've been sending out daily Amber Alerts."
Question 2: How would your staff celebrate a Woodie win? High-fives? Low explosives?
Duncan Ross: "We're all gonna get laid!"
Carolyn Helmers: "Hopefully, lots of screaming and fainting."
Erika Martinez: "Interpretive dance ... And our station will henceforth only be referred to as 'Woodie Award-winning WVUM.'"
Kathleen Elise: "I would buy everyone delicious pastelitos and we would have a sleepover in the office."
Giovanna Stallings: "If we win the Woodie, there will be lots of girls screaming. (Awkward pause.)"
Laura Sutnick: "We also wouldn't mind a parade in downtown."
Drew Spears: "Our staff will likely rent out King of Diamonds and invite our favorite rappers. We will then proceed to 'Blow Money Fast.' Michael Bay will film the party to be used in the upcoming Bad Boys 3. Oh, did you not know that Michael Bay was filming Bad Boys 3?"
Question 3: If you gotta get to Austin for the MTV Woodie Awards show, what are the travel plans? Bus? Cargo plane? And where are you gonna crash?
Duncan Ross: "VW bus on the way over. Sell the girls off to MTV execs. First class return."
Erika Martinez: "Empty house squatting."
Zoe Brown: "Walk via U.S. 1, mainly."
Giovanna Stallings: "Ultimately, throwing SXSW in between WMC, Ultra Week, and exams sounds like a great idea."
Laura Sutnick: "We will hijack a hurricane shuttle and drive ourselves to Austin. We have hookups at the Governor's Mansion and the Cuban Consulate, so no worries about housing."
Drew Spears: "I will fly from Miami to Nebraska and then I will lead a herd of Buffalo down to North Texas where they will be sold to a slaughterhouse. The work will be strenuous. But it will provide compensation for this trip. When I get to Fort Worth, I will meet up with my child bride, Maria, and my personal favorite alleged child of mine, Andrew Jr., and proceed to Austin via stagecoach. While this trip will certainly take upwards of 26 days and definitely cause me to miss all of SXSW, you have to understand that my child bride Maria is currently pregnant and Andrew Jr. has come down with a nasty case of consumption. As a result, neither one can fly. Also, I cannot personally speak for Maria or Andrew Jr., but I plan on staying in the hotel rooms of any number of attractive women I have wooed with my charm and wit during the festival."
Question 4: Who's writing the acceptance speech?
Duncan Ross: "Deepak Chopra."
Carolyn Helmers: "Britney Spears in collaboration with Amber. I am sure they will come up with something splendid :)"
Drew Spears: "I will plagiarize Sarah Palin's 2008 Republican National Convention speech and replace any mention of 'John McCain' and 'Barack Obama' with 'famed indie band Pavement' and 'the evils of corporate radio.' Nobody will be the wiser."
Kathleen Elise: "Each eboard members writes a sentence."
Giovanna Stallings: "If we get an acceptance speech, Manny T will write it."
Laura Sutnick: "Shalala should also throw in a line or two."
Question 5: And last thing ... When you get your Woodie, what are you gonna do with it? Where are you gonna put it?
Duncan Ross: "Where the sun don't shine."
Kevin Mason: "U already know ;) In my dog's playroom."
Laura Sutnick: "We will erect it in a display case, make sure it stays properly lubed, and give everyone on staff the chance to touch it."
Drew Spears: "I will most likely pawn my Woodie immediately to help pay for my lavish lifestyle and numerous vices. Did you know that for $20,000 a month you can keep the famed whale from the Free Willy series of films as a pet? And for $20,000 more you can hunt it for sport? America is a wonderful country!"
Voting for MTV's Woodie Awards ends March 1. It's unlimited. So go tally a billion times at radiowoodie.ratemyprofessors.com. The winner will be announced at the sixth annual mtvU Woodie Awards, airing Wednesday, March 16, at midnight on MTV, MTV2 and mtvU from the Austin Music Hall in Austin, Texas, during the South by Southwest Music Festival.
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