Ultra Week 2011 Party Picks for the Ticketless
|Photo by Charis Kirchheimer|
|Go party with Tamara Sky and the Overthrow crew at a strip club.|
Sure, in a desperate, last-ditch stab at joining the party, you could always (a) pack $3600 into a paper bag and scour Biscayne Boulevard for a scalper who's still holding; or (b) dig a bunch of shiny objects out of the trash, carefully approach Ultra's security fence, and try to barter with the narcotically deranged natives.
But once you've exhausted those admittedly low-percentage plays, here is the backup plan.
|Get battered by Skream, Smog, and BassHead at Mekka.|
Smog vs. BassHead. With Skream, Goldie, Skrillex, Craze, Juan BassHead, and others. 10 p.m. Mekka, 950 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-371-3773; mekkamiami.com. Tickets cost $25 via wantickets.com. After abandoning your Ultra dream, drop some GHB and stumble over to warehouse-y hideout Mekka where L.A. party crew Smog and Miami's own Juan BassHead will be serving up 18 consecutive doses of ass-battering bass. Warning: Don't pass out or the dubstep will get you.
|The forcefeeding! Dada Life and Dim Mak bring the debauchery to the Beach.|
Dim Mak. With Dada Life, Bart B More, Bingo Players, Tocadisco, Felix Cartal, and others. 10 p.m. Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 786-235-5800; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $35 via wantickets.com. You've had 24 hours to recover from failing to get into Ultra. It's time to ditch downtown and take a daytrip to SoBe. Go get a tan, gobble some sushi, guzzle a bottle of Grey Goose, and then wait for nightfall so you can get naked and stupid with Steve Aoki's Dim Mak party boys.
|Fool's Gold and A-Trak says Fuck You to all the fakes.|
Fool's Gold. With A-Trak, Kenny Dope, Riva Starr, Just Blaze, Treasure Fingers, and others. 10 p.m. Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Admission is free with RSVP to email@example.com. Fake isn't uncommon in the 305 -- counterfeit cash, bogus drugs, cheap breast implants. But this Saturday, the real deal's gonna drop at Grand Central when A-Trak and his stable of 24-karat killers issue an offical Fuck You to iron pyrite and all forms of fakery.
|Photo by Nem Perez/nemdesign.com via chocolateindustries.com|
|It's gonna be a strip club mosh pit with Hollywood Holt and the Overthrow at Goldrush.|
Hard 2 Leave. With Craze, Damaged Goods, Tamara Sky, Hollywood Holt, Troy Kurtz, and others. 11 p.m. Goldrush, 15 NE 11th St., Miami; theoverthrow.com. Tickets cost $10 via hard2leave.eventbrite.com. It's the final day of your party rampage. And since this is Miami, you're pretty much required to spend it in a strip club. And we're suggesting Goldrush, where the Overthrow will be orchestrating its second annual orgy of boobs, booze, chicken wings, greasy greenbacks, and sex music. Say bye-bye to Ultra week with class.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.