Beastie Boys Action Figures and Five Other Pop Stars We Wanna Turn Into Toys

Categories: Useless Lists
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It looks like MCA. But it's actually an effing action figure!
Last month, The Beastie Boys released a new, super epic, 11-minute Spike Jonze-directed video for "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win," the first single from the enduring hip-hop trio's newest full-length, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two. 

Well, yesterday, the Beasties announced that the 11.5 inch dolls used to shoot the video -- not to mention a selection of alternate outfits as well as accessories -- are now for sale on the group's official website.

Movie, TV, and, shit, even comic books have all mastered the art of the toy tie-in. But why hasn't the music industry given it a shot? Yeah, we know you can build a small city out of Kiss figurines. But who gives a shit about Kiss?

After the jump you'll find five rock stars Crossfade would like to turn into toys.

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Justin Bieber Gimp-Life Play Thang Action Figure
We all know The Biebz's fanbase is really only, like, 30 percent shrieking tweens. In actuality, those most plagued by Bieber Fever are leather daddies looking for a musically inclined twink to sing songs from Cabaret while being paddled for being a very bad boy. We say give the incredibly hairy, heavy-breathing masses what they want: a tiny plastic Justin Bieber that always begs for more. Comes with removable ball-gag and zipper-mouthed gimp mask.

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Gucci Mane Snackin' Like A White Boy Figurine
The potential for Gucci Mane accessories are endless. Maybe the toy could come with multiple outfits, like extra icy clubwear, an orange jumpsuit from the clink, and a straitjacket. Personally, we'd like to see the oft-incarcerated hip-hop goon outfitted with interchangeable snack food face tattoos. Like cotton candy or boiled peanuts.


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Courtney Love Mascara Mess Barbie Doll
Little girls around the world will finally have a doll they can dress up like a junkie tart for a round of slugging bitches in the mosh pit.





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Michael Jackson Doped Up Zombie Life-Sized Cut-Out
The perfect addition to any Halloween party conga line, a life-sized cut out of a way-zonked Prince of Pop would be an excellent promotional tie-in for the upcoming 30th anniversary of Thriller.




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Adam Lambert Not-So-Ambiguous Action Figure
This toy modeled after American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert will seem sorta homosexual when it's sitting on the shelf. But you won't really know for sure until you've bought it.





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