Five Drugs That You Should Never Ever Bring Aboard a Hippie Music Cruise
Well, friends, here's the truth: Narcotics are no fun. Even less fun than hippie music.
And last January, that point was driven home hard when ICE, the U.S. Marshals Service, the DEA, and the Broward Sheriff's Office busted a bunch of Jammers for a treasure trove of illegal substances and filthy paraphernalia.
Thus, as a public service, we here at Crossfade present this helpful list of the top five drugs that you should never ever bring aboard a cruise ship.
Sure, toking while cruising might alleviate chronic sea sickness, the boredom of being stuck on a boat for five days with Bruce Hornsby, and those gout flare-ups from too much Flower Power foot-stomping. But it will also lead to the kind of crippling paranoia that'll have you convinced the MSC Poesia is steaming toward a top-secret penal colony for cannabis junkies in the Bermuda Triangle.
We do not want to hear any bullcrap about how "'shrooms come from the dirt, and since Sheba the Earth Goddess put them there, then she must want us to eat them, and get all touchy-feely with our inner cosmic child, you know." Bottom line: If the Feds catch you with magic mushrooms on your pita-bread pizza, it's game over, maaan.