Miami Heat's "All of the Lights" Video: Is The Big Three Actually a Boy Band?

DwyaneWadeMiamHeatOfficialIntroVideo.jpg
Droppin' a deuce with D-Wade.
Shit ... We thought the Miami Heat was an $80-million professional basketball team.

Turns out, though, The Big Three and company is actually a crappy boy band.

Just check out King James, D-Wade, and Big Bosh's new music video, set to Kanye West's weenie anthem "All of the Lights," and co-starring a bunch of bench warmers in ill-fitting mall clothes.

Only six and a half months ago, the Heat (especially that big baby LeBron) got woefully humiliated in the 2011 NBA Finals by the Dallas Mavericks, a ragtag squad led by the (almost) oldest point guard in b-ball history and a German dude who looks like a seven-foot-tall screaming skull.



Yet apparently, James, Wade, and Bosh thought that prancing and preening like pretty-boy pop stars for a really expensive YouTube vid was the best way to shake off the stank of defeat.

ChrisBoshMiamHeatOfficialIntroVideo.jpg
Chris Bosh ... Just keepin' it awkward.

Sure, this official "2011-12 Heat Intro Video" lasts less than a minute. But still, the clip is a sad, 58-second douchefest that never seems like it's gonna end.

As usual, Bosh looks goofy and uncomfortable, fiddling with his sunglasses, fixing his shirt sleeves, and yawning at the camera. Meanwhile, D-Wade sneers like he's taking an especially painful poop and LeBron lip-syncs like he closes out fourth quarters.

LeBronJamesMiamHeatOfficialIntroVideo.jpg
LeBron's lip-syncing is W-E-A-K.

Man, this boy-band bullshit is embarassing enough right now. And The Big Three just kicked off the regular season with two straight wins.

But, uh, can you imagine having to re-watch this thing at 11:47 p.m. on a sweaty June night after the Miami Heat fuck up another championship?

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9 comments
Your Mom
Your Mom

Your a fucking cunt fag. The video is douchy but fuck you....why you hating on your cities team with comments like that. Miami New Times should ban your cross dressing hipster ass from writing anymore articles. Ima show you the face i make when i take a shit on your mom.

Shitbull
Shitbull

Probably would've been better with a classic Pitbull song, am I right?? 

Cris
Cris

That was the coolest Abercrombie ad I've seen all year!....wait, what?

ivo passos
ivo passos

Watched this game live streaming on this site www.mynbatv.com and is actually verry good, they have been streaming every game...

D-stroyer
D-stroyer

Who ever made this is retarded

Jninja8823
Jninja8823

Don't be a hater because your not on there spot light someone like is you a heat haters and your one of those people that dot have better things to do but bother other peoples business. Stop it! Let the game prove to point don't hate!

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