Top Ten Absolute Worst Music Trends of 2011

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Every generation lampoons those that came before it.

Nothing is easier to parody than the '60s: the hair, the beads, the vibes, maaan. In the '70s, everybody's pants were fucking huge, until their hair got Bride of Frankenstein-huge in the '80s, thanks to all that blow and yacht rock.

Unfortunately, we don't anticipate the 2000s will be rendered with such a cheerfully sarcastic glow. These are dark times. Just check out Crossfade's absolute worst musical trends from 2011.



10. Reunions Are the Ultimate Cash-In
Oh, sorry, you didn't get the memo? Well, it wasn't really a memo. Someone just, y'know, re-tweeted @ us. Sorry to break it you, man. But New Music is over. And it's been replaced, quite directly, by Old Music, i.e. wash-ups trying (and failing) to recreate their life's greatest moment. And they charging us, like, triple the price for the pleasure.
OK, so bands cashing in by getting back together is nothing new. But we're starting to see the trend trickle down into every quadrant of music. Even Crass reunited in 2011! Sort of. But isn't it always sort of?



9. Last Year's Made-Up Genres Still Haven't Gone Away
By the end of 2010, we foamed at the mouth while staring vacantly and wide-eyed at our flickering computer screen, trying to keep up with internet genres that evolved with Pokémon-like whimsy. We tried to catch 'em all: chillwave, dubstep, witch house, butt music. But in the end, we could only pray for death and/or the complete collapse of the World Wide Web, triggering a rise in populist primitivism. But, no, instead of an organarchist uprising (nice try, Occupy), we spent most of 2011 draped in triangles and bashing our head against a tremendous bass cabinet.



8. The Internet Kept Making Up New Genres
Goddammit, we yearn for the days when you could argue about how stupid the term "emo" was. If you feel like an old man yelling at a cloud when listening to witch house, just wait till you get a load of moombahton. It's dubstep's younger cousin with a bigger chain and cruder street-side catcalls. Or, uh, seapunk (see above video), which is the extremist/fascist wing of the retro-triangle-beach contingent. These chumps got so '80s, they ended up in the early fucking '90s.



7. All Dubstep Everything
Look, we'll leave your precious wobble-bass alone as soon as it leaves us alone. The year started with Britney embracing the womp. And we can't wait to see Skrillex on Yo Gabba Gabba, where that muppet belongs.



6. All Techno Everything
Alright, it's time to be honest. Crossfade is not really a Miami New Times music blog. That's just a front. Our real agenda is slapping together a message for the future. These posts are a kind of communicatory time capsule.

Basically, if humankind were to be wiped out, we want there to be some context for whichever Alien race (grey, Predator, Mayan, etc.) rummages through our ruins. When they shake their heads and ask, "But why the fuck did all music turn into techno?," they can consult our archives and know that we didn't have a damn clue either.

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19 comments
Spencerrose17
Spencerrose17

Go fuck yourselfs. The Avett Brothers are real music and part of no stuipd trend.

Ryan
Ryan

The Avett Brothers aren't wimpy acoustic lol. Go search the live version of talk on indolence and then you'll realize.

Brad
Brad

It’s: “Tamagotchi meets Pokemon” but with real fusion between the two and for smart-phones. People were crazy about Tamagotchis. It gave the user a sense of pride. You created and developed something and then measured your success by seeing how it fared against the elements. It gave the user a unique feeling of power. My creation survived.Fund to create this awasome game inhttp://www.kickstarter.com/pro...

 

Guest
Guest

#5, wimpy acoustic music, is not a trend of 2011.  the rest of the list represents my deepest fears, but much worse acoustic music has come out of other years, not to mention that the avett's give acoustics a good name, not a bad one (and they only look like "steam punk" weirdos because they had just donated their hair to kids with cancer, and shave their beards into mustaches along with it).  

Jessica
Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I  wanna find my lover who  can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for  man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you  can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

Rnyvaldes78
Rnyvaldes78

You can leave a note for those aliens that the reason everything went techno is because people stopped appreciating skill and talent. They just want something that is easy to absorb and doesn't require the use of their brains to understand and appreciate. It's why you'll hear the dumb phrase "Jazz gives me a headache" 

John
John

i love the avett brothers

Jessica
Jessica

I am a 26 years old girl, down to earth and cute but still single ... I  wanna find my lover who can give me a real love,so I joined in the seekcasual.COM,it's the best club for  man and woman finding their intimate encounters. Well, you do not have to be lonely , you  can meet the Mr. or Miss. Right there.

305Lifestyle
305Lifestyle

Fuck any kind of "Swag" music.. There is no"Swag" in that king ofmusic, a bunch of swaggerless bastards talking about "swag."

Sean Levisman
Sean Levisman

Loved the article. My only suggestion (regarding point #7) is that you avoid using "techno" as a generic term for electronic dance music as a whole. Not to sound pedantic, but techno is one sub-genre of EDM from many, with specific characteristics, history and culture. Calling all EDM "techno" is like calling all rock n roll "metal".  

BGUM926
BGUM926

I agree completely with this article. However, I'm a musician and realize that we look for different things in music than most people. The line about Drake made me chuckle though.

Troll
Troll

One word: Brostep.

That crowd needs to fucking die.

Jorge
Jorge

if crossfade thinks "Swag" is the #1 worst trend of the year, then why did you morons post incessant updates about miami o'grime?  seems like they're all about swaggin it up and you said they had one of the best albums of the year. 

Mizik
Mizik

Spot on about Drake....I usually laugh whenever I hear his stuff on the radio/internet/etc. and change it while telling myself, "haha, there is no way that people actually listen to this!" Then I hear about his album sales.....PS: The Mayans weren't aliens : P

Fernando Perdomo
Fernando Perdomo

AMEN!!!!! exept.. there is always room for wimpy acoustic music .. like Smile by Dreaming in Stereo .. booya!!!

strangelove262
strangelove262

Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad. What about... well... Okay, this year there was a huge... hmm... Okay, if it hadn't have been for... damn. You're right, let us never speak of 2011 ever again.

fnuh
fnuh

Not to be one of those nit-picking assholes, but LMFAO, David Guetta and the like are as far from techno as you can possibly get. It's all Eurotrashy Ibiza pop (and yes, it's fucking everywhere now).

You might be interested in this: http://thequietus.com/articles...

Paul Hernandez
Paul Hernandez

Real techno not withstanding of course. LMFAO isn't real techno.

Joshvick024
Joshvick024

Lmfao!! Exactly, they're fucking poser bullshitters at this publication..

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