Lil Wayne Pays Miami Strippers $1000 to Fight: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Categories: Video
weezyzstrippersboxing.jpg
Who got KO'd at KOD.?
Oh, King of Diamonds, the adult entertainment megaplex complete with barbershop, basketball court, and, of course, mountains upon mountains of b-b-booty .... We here at Crossfade love KOD more than anyone else in America.

Except, of course, acclaimed international pop-rap superstar Lil Wayne, whose frequent and decadent jaunts to South Florida's contemporary urban Gomorrah are the stuff of legend.

Anyway, as reported by TMZ, everybody was at King of Diamond's a few nights ago to watch Wayne officiate a boxing match between strippers and the footage deserves nothing less than an extremely detailed breakdown.

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0:00-0:01
TMZ has a great logo. We love the way the animation literally makes it pop. In these disorienting, economically strained times, it's nice to have something to believe in.

0:01-0:07
Our story begins en media res with (an ostensibly sober) Weezy surrounded by ten-million goons and a particularly attentive shawty to his right. For a minute-plus clip of strippers fighting, this film was edited by a genius! What are they watching? What is the shawty pointing at? Can anyone hear Lil Wayne's commentary? Nothing says art house like watching people watching.

0:07-0:11
And then after properly stoking our anticipation, TMZ goes deep with some crucial footage of a stripper in purple booty shorts wailing on another (seemingly doomed) stripper (who BTW is wearing black booty shorts). The not-seen-on-camera announcer is "OH! OH! OHHHH!"-ing like he's giving birth, perfectly articulating each and every blow Ms. Purple lands on Ms. Black.

0:12-0:34
But enough about boxing strippers ... Let's back to our hero and maybe-potentially-but-probably-not The Best Rapper Alive, Weezy F. Baby.

Wayne tries to say something into the mike. But, uh, it's not working. So he hands it to a lackey who, uh, tries to say something into the mic. But it's still not working! Question: Why would someone else using it fix it? We imagine Wayne's day is packed, from sun up to down, with "Somebody fix this!" hand-offs. Dude has no idea how shit works! Maybe he should watch that show, How Shit Works, or whatever it's called.

0:35-0:40
Alright, mike's working. And Wayne's got something to say, presumably on the subject of gentleman's club performers bludgeoning each other with fists of rage.

0:41-1:07
Lil Wayne makes a bunch of noises that sure do sound like words. But, uh, really don't make any fucking sense. For a change.

1:08-1:11
Pay attention to Weezy's interaction with his shawty when he tries to get her to hand him the money. Crossfade must express supreme gratitude to the Universe for allowing us to be part of an age in human civilization where confused psychosexual idiocy can be forever preserved on the YouTubes.

1:12-1:20
It may look like Wayne is farcically counting the stack before him. But, no, he really is counting it. Dude hangs out at the bank so much he picked up a trick or two. And, y'know, it ain't trickin' if you got it.

1:25-1:35
Rapper and stripper nonchalantly exchange ziplock bag filled with cash. The MC desperately tries to keep the night going by inviting anyone from the audience to square off against a stripper. Or maybe another audience member. Or perhaps the lesser of Weezy's expansive entourage. Either way, his desperate "Anybody?" is met with total silence.

1:36
When future civilizations teach about the United States empire, they'll point to TMZ as the ultimate marker of our decadent decline.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

Location Info

Map

King of Diamonds

17800 NE 5th Ave., Miami, FL

Category: General


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17 comments
THE VOICE
THE VOICE

You did a real good thing Brother. Were they African American Women? Man, your name will go down in the History of Game. But rememer from the Old School? No that's to old school for you Bro. But keep in mind from an OG, "If you play the Game you have to stand the shame."Trust me, you'll see it again. Somewhere, sometime.

Кабель HDMI
Кабель HDMI

  I have an inflatable pool and some bottles of oil for bett & anomaly to fight. Get your bikinis on, ladies!

Monica
Monica

I'm pretty sure that was sarcasm.

Jewbanico
Jewbanico

This is a shit article or tumblr post, or whatever the fuck it is.

sengroo
sengroo

This makes a lot of sense dude, I like the sound of that. WOw.www.Total-Privacy dot US

Peter DeeJay Wiz Cadore
Peter DeeJay Wiz Cadore

FIRST OF ALL KIKI IS NOT A STRIPPER SHE IS A BOXER AT A LOCAL GYM IN MIAMI. SECOND OF ALL. WHO REALLY CARES WHAT TUNCHI SPENDS HIS MONEY ON. IF HE WANTS TO HAND SOMEONE A STACK CAUSE THEY ENTERTAINED HIM WELL GO AHEAD, CAUSE WE HAND HIM MILLIONS TO ENTERTAIN US.

RANTone
RANTone

it would be funnier if his hat read TINY

Alex G
Alex G

Really?! TMZ is "the ultimate marker of our decadent decline"? That's like saying all men are douchebags and all women are $ grubbing hoes based on some of the "wonderful" people here in Miami.

David
David

Lil Wayne goes hard so does YM. Lil wayne is the best freestyle rapper. Nobody aint got shit on wayne

Wrap A
Wrap A

And not that I feel bad for them, but did they were a mouthguard?

Wrap A
Wrap A

Thats fuckin slim

Brookstaneesha4
Brookstaneesha4

Wayne cannot freestyle an if u knew Wayne good u would know that he freestyles wit words he done already put n one of his songs. Freestyle is rapping off the top of the head. Not saying something that was said n a song. I like Wayne but he cnt freestyle.

Christophla
Christophla

Next thing you'll try and tell us he can play the guitar too...

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