Shit Miami Bands Say... A 31-Point List of Local Musicians' Constant Complaints

Categories: Local Music
ShitstormTheCaveMiami.jpg
​A week ago local poet, musician, and promoter Benjamin Shahoulian started a comment war on his Facebook page, stemming from his frustration at local musicians' constant complaints about promoters.

As the exchanges were getting pretty intense, hip-hop artist and promoter Erik Grizzly jokingly suggested making a video for "Shit Miami Bands Say."

With input from Alukard's Level and this author, the one-liners came together with surprising ease.

So Miami filmmakers, here's the script ... Make the video.

ShitMiamiBandsSay1.jpg

1. "Why is my name so small on the flyer?"
2. "Uh, when do we play?"
3. "Can you call my guitarist for me?"
4. "You can find me at myspace.com/nobodycares."
5. "I didn't bring any cables. Can you ask that other band if I can borrow some and a guitar too?"

ShitMiamiBandsSay2.jpg

6. "Hey, I have work in the morning. Can you tell that other band to let us go first?"
7. "We can't play tonight 'cause my bass player got mono from the drummer's girlfriend."
8. "No, I can't use a backline, I only like my own kit."
9. "We need a half-hour to set up and another half-hour to break down for our 20-minute noise set."
10. "Flyers? You're the promoter. My job is to play music, man."

ShitMiamiBandsSay3.jpg

11. "One more song? OK! I'm sure the next band won't mind."
12. "Let's go drink in the car."
13. "Can I get a drink ticket for my drummer's cousin's sister's friend?"
14. "What do you mean you don't have a mike for the bass drum?"
15. "Hey, my girlfriend doesn't have to pay, right?"

My Voice Nation Help
11 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Oski Gonzalez
Oski Gonzalez

Hey Fellas,

I had to chime in... First off I have been at every end of the spectrum as far as the local live music scene goes. I have fronted a Hip-Hop group, a Rock band, I DJ, promote and book bands. So I know the whole thing from all points. I love what I do and do it with a passion. On top of what I just read here are some of the things I have heard from Miami bands. Even cats in my camp have said stuff like this.... Is the show running on time because we just got here for our 10pm slot and it's now only 11pm. Why do we have to pay for parking? Do you have cordless mics? I can only use a cordless mic. My girlfriend is 17 can I get her in this 21&over venue? She is gonna be 18 in 3 months. I want to go on when the most people are there, what time is that... I can not make the show we booked with you on the 18th because I am gonna have a family emergency that day. (I swear to god on that one). Can you get some bar backs to help us load in our gear? What happens if it rains during our set outside?  Why is my band not playing I am only 15 minutes late.  At the end of the day when I became a promoter I wanted to be the good guy, the good promoter. I have always disliked band managers and promoters. Look at me now.

Thanks Miami,

Oski 305.303.3976

Bbronson
Bbronson

Bro Ben and his brother "Blow dogs for quarters" either of them can go to the aluKard complaint department and talk to the head of said department aaaaaand we'll take it from there.Shit miami bands say "SCREW YOU!!!! Shama-lama-ding dong bros."

Rod Deal
Rod Deal

This was funny and yes I heard every single one of these in Miami... Why everyone is always fucking the drummers girlfriend. No one can jack off like a drummer I guess. Funny shit Benjamin... the day of the show though NONE of this is funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Level AluKard
Level AluKard

I'm proud of Ric and Benjamin. This came out great guys I wish you all the best.

We gave this city 10 years, we've seen these things said, and we've said it ourselves.. We can't complain cause there is truth in this humor. Can't get mad at some promoters or bands or venues or fans cause many are considered friends and the lines get blurred in this city. We're a tight knit group, you've never said hello to me, but you know who I am or heard the good and nasty things about me from 'fulanito de tal' who's in 'this band' and knows 'that person.' Promoters, bands, venues, we're a tight knit group. Its almost the opposite of other places, it's not about 'SHOW BUSINESS' around here, it's about 'SHOW FRIENDS'. It's true, and I'm glad I was lucky to make so many. But unlucky to have been left out by tighter groups of friends. Miami rise up. Cause as funny as this is, it's an example of how NOT to act.

E. Grizzly
E. Grizzly

Damn Ric you forgot to put Miami promoters are the worst..  Thanks Mleon_9

Ric Delgado
Ric Delgado

Apparently I've never done anything constructive for local bands either.

Scene this scene that
Scene this scene that

Yes Some of the promoters down here are assholes, but a lot of the bands out here need to tame down their egos and play, you can't play this late?? Well let the promoter know ahead of time not the day of the show, also bands please show up early to shows, if the show starts at 9pm and you are the opening band, please don't be there at 845. Responsibility for the downfall of the music scene in Miami is in both sides, shady promoters and premadonna musicians who think the world revolves around them.Trust me there's a lot of bands out there willing o play the spot that doesnt fit in your "busy" scheduleAnd one more thing, bands, work on your music before adding theatrics that take a 30 min setup to your 30 min set,

Terri Perez
Terri Perez

You have no place in this business.Over the past few years I’ve experienced a lot of this…whether it’s local band drama, arrogant bands, talentless scene sluts, or fans/listeners trying to appear influential. Fortunately, my band is so good that we’ve never had or ever will have anyone say anything negative about us (lol/jk for people lacking social wit), but I hear it about OTHER bands a lot.First of all, we are all called to respect and love one another, regardless if we agree on things. You don’t have to LIKE everyone, but you must show them respect. You are not better than anyone else…we are all different.Here is one truth that I have discovered about music…EVERYONE LISTENS TO MUSIC FOR A DIFFERENT REASON. I like, and can appreciate, almost every genre of music (excluding Japanese Classic and Melodramatic Popular Song).  The hardcore kids listen to metal/hxc to release adrenaline…get all sweaty and punch each other in the face in a pit or study the technical ability of musicians. Indie kids like music as an ‘art’…look up lyrics in the dictionary,  and be connected with a certain ‘feel’. Pop kids don’t want to be challenged by their music…they just want a fun release, to sing/dance and easily relate. Punk kids are more about the energy (and usually the politics)…they like the music as a statement, raw and unpolished. Latin, to dance, "Spanish Rock" I mean come one, it's music!! but in another language!  The list could go on and on…I think you get the basic point.So why is it wrong for an ‘indie kid’ to enjoy music that just sounds weird to most people? Why can’t a ‘pop kid’ enjoy stupid lyrics and infectious hooks? And why can’t a bro two-step in a br00tal breakdown!?!I’m not going to give you specific examples of people/bands who have recently done this, or I’d be negating the whole point of this blog…Basically, it’s ridiculous for ANYONE to look down upon, let alone publicly ridicule, a fan or musician of a different genre. If you are someone who disagrees and thinks it’s OK to tear down other fans/bands, do us all a favor and remove yourself from this industry…or, trust me, IT will remove YOU. Have some class, newbs. We’re all in this together…to make and enjoy music.So let’s start supporting each other. Go hang out with someone of a different ‘genre’, have an open mind, and figure out what it is they like about the music they’re into. You could be missing out on a lot of good music and friendships! DISCOVER MORE BANDS! There are os many bands in Miami, don't be unprofessional! VENUES AND BOOKING AGENTS.... SUPPORT OTHER BANDS THAT NEED TO BE HEARD! & BANDS..... BOOK SHOWS WITH DIFFERENT GENRES!!!!!!!! YOU MIGHT ATTRACT THEIR AUDIENCE TOO! DON'T BE SELFISH AND CLOSE MINDED! DON'T HATE OR UNLIKE PEOPLE JUST BY THEIR LOOKS! MIAMI WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you, who worte this article, instead of stepping on local bands, SUPPORT THEM! Why don;t you make constructive critiques? I mean, critiques about their new music, new bands in Miami with a new style, not only what YOU like, radio people, the same... promote! open you mind, that si why you chose this career right????? it doesn't matter the color, style, and language! it's MUSIC....  

Mleon_9
Mleon_9

miami promoters are the worst...

Other Bob
Other Bob

Ha! It's funny 'cause it's true...

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Events

Miami Event Tickets
Loading...