Shit Miami Bands Say... A 31-Point List of Local Musicians' Constant Complaints

Categories: Local Music
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​A week ago local poet, musician, and promoter Benjamin Shahoulian started a comment war on his Facebook page, stemming from his frustration at local musicians' constant complaints about promoters.

As the exchanges were getting pretty intense, hip-hop artist and promoter Erik Grizzly jokingly suggested making a video for "Shit Miami Bands Say."

With input from Alukard's Level and this author, the one-liners came together with surprising ease.

So Miami filmmakers, here's the script ... Make the video.

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1. "Why is my name so small on the flyer?"
2. "Uh, when do we play?"
3. "Can you call my guitarist for me?"
4. "You can find me at myspace.com/nobodycares."
5. "I didn't bring any cables. Can you ask that other band if I can borrow some and a guitar too?"

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6. "Hey, I have work in the morning. Can you tell that other band to let us go first?"
7. "We can't play tonight 'cause my bass player got mono from the drummer's girlfriend."
8. "No, I can't use a backline, I only like my own kit."
9. "We need a half-hour to set up and another half-hour to break down for our 20-minute noise set."
10. "Flyers? You're the promoter. My job is to play music, man."

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11. "One more song? OK! I'm sure the next band won't mind."
12. "Let's go drink in the car."
13. "Can I get a drink ticket for my drummer's cousin's sister's friend?"
14. "What do you mean you don't have a mike for the bass drum?"
15. "Hey, my girlfriend doesn't have to pay, right?"

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