Chris Brown Breeding Adorable Puppies! Five Species More Befitting the C. Breezy Brand

Categories: Useless Lists
Chris Brown may be Rihanna's bitch. But he's unloading three of his own.

Evidently, the angry pop singer is a backyard breeder and wants you to buy his bitches.

According to ABC News, Brown's selling some pit bull terriers via the Internet -- three males and three females -- at $1,000 each. The dogs were born in February and "carry a fourth generation performance pedigree." They're also cute, very cute.

Despite Miami-Dade's illogical ban and unlike Chris Brown, pit bulls are generally friendly, loveable creatures.

In fact, it'd be more befitting if C. Breezy was raising short-tempered animals like ostriches or whales. Check out our list of angry animals that Brown should consider breeding.

Don't fuck with this flightless bird. It'll peck your face off. Native to Africa, the ostrich is the fastest bird on land, capable of running up to 43 mph. While not a huge threat to man, they're known to have a short fuse when provoked.

Killer Whale
Killer whales are dangerous, just ask that SeaWorld trainer. Oh, you can't. He's dead. Like Brown, whales are vicious and violent. The end result is not pretty.

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animal lover
animal lover

Sheesh, another irresponsible animal exploiter taking advantage of idiots!


Christ, yet another reason to hate that scumbag Chris Brown.

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