Adele Sucks Up Cash As Music Biz Reports "Least Negative" Results Since Bush Years

Categories: Talking Shit
​Just when you thought the bubble was 'bout to burst...

Recent reports from The Music Industry have revealed that the world of aural entertainment is not only transitioning away from a free-falling-plummet to lightly-descending-tumble, but the music business be sticking around a little longer than we expected. And frankly, longer than we can stomach.

According to the study, 2011's total global revenue only dropped 3% from 2010, "the least negative result" since 2004. And it appears England's Grammy-hoggin' Brit, middle-finger-flippin' Adele, is to blame.

Despite the ongoing Skrillex-pocalypse consuming the little bit of pop music that isn't already LMFAO-ed, the human race can still get behind a bird with some pipes.

Last year, Adele became the first artist to go double-platinum on iTunes. And this year she not only swept the Grammys but now, evidently, is keeping the music industry plugged into its life support system.

Y'know, at first we're a little annoyed that anyone is helping the dickheads who sold CDs for $18 make anymore money. 

But when supposed pop royalty spends its time in a (ugh) "flame war" with some fucking normsteplectro LARPer, we could maybe warm up to Adele's innocuousness. Because, after all, at least she's not Tweeting.

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