Exxxotica 2012: Top Ten Porn Parties in Miami This Weekend

See Belladonna strip at Club Madonna this Saturday.

Under normal circumstances, partying with a porn star might mean all kinds of DP, TP, ATM, RTF, and money shots. It would also require a clean STD test, fresh bikini wax, and 60ml tube of spermicidal lube.

But this weekend, the Exxxotica 2012 adult entertainment expo has come to town for three full days of porn-y panel discussions, DVD and dildo signings, fake orgasm contests, plastic surgery seminars, and sex toy instructional courses at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

So ... Between now and Sunday, when we say partying with a porn star, we don't mean fucking on camera for immediate broadcast across the World Wide Web. Although, there will be occasional nudity.

Here are the top ten porn parties in Miami Beach this weekend.

Via Ass2Waist.com

Shaking D'Ass at SoBe Live.

Foreplay with Cherokee D'Ass. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-725-3353; sobelivesouthbeach.com. Tickets cost $20 to $40 via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Technically speaking, the proper terminology for booty-centric foreplay is analingus. It is also commonly described as rimming or butt-munching. But tonight, this D'Ass just wants to dance. Check out Crossfade's interview with Ms. Cherokee about love-making music.

Porn star Tori Black is also a professional peeler.

Tori Black, Lexi Belle, Alexis Texas, and Tori Lane. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., Club Madonna, 1527 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-2000; clubmadonna.com. Admission costs $20 at the door. Ages 18 and up. According to the Internet Adult Film Database, sex pros Tori Black (2007-present), Lexi Belle (2006-present), Alexis Texas (2007-present), and Tori Lane (2004-present) have a combined 28 years of pole-riding experience. Watch these sexperts ply their trade at SoBe's only strip club.

Via HollyRandall.com

Free Joanna Angel! Uh, from clothing.

AVN and Joanna Angel. Friday, May 18, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $30 via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. If Western Civilization wasn't so fucking uptight about sex, self-described "punk porn princess" Joanna Angel would party in public totally naked, except for a pair of spike heels and some tattoos. Unfortunately, indecent exposure remains a crime and Ms. Angel continues to squeeze into socially acceptable "slutty outfits."

Roxy Reynolds's booty got bass.

Roxy Reynolds, Ice LaFoxx, Beauty Dior, and Candace Von. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., and Saturday, December 31, 11 p.m., King of Diamonds, 17800 NE 5th Ave., North Miami Beach; 305-999-9500; kingofdiamondmiami.com. Cover costs $60 and up at the door. Ages 21 and up. Just imagine if the epic, clapping asses of Roxy Reynolds, Ice LaFoxx, Beauty Dior, and Candace Von got together to record a booty music mixtape ... The individual tracks would be titled "Oil Dat Big Ass Up," "Mami Culo Grande," "Assiliciously Delicious," and "Fuck It Like It's Hot." And KOD's Disco Rick would fund the official fan club.

Photo by Chad Griffith

WTF is Black Thought thinking?

The Roots' Black Thought at Exxxotica Miami Beach. Saturday, May 19, 9:30 p.m., Miami Beach Convention Center, 1901 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach; 267-909-9760; exxxoticaexpo.com. Tickets cost $32 to $149 plus fees. Unlike 2 Live Crew's Fresh Kid Ice and Brother Marquis (AKA the musical headliners at Exxxotica 2011), The Roots Crew All-Stars aren't particularly famous for stuff like "Pop[ping] That Pussy" or "Throw[ing] the D." But given the horny leer on Black Thought's face (see above), we'd say he's planning some kinda superfreaky shit.