Ten Signs of the Dubpocalypse! From Bieber and Muse to Dubstep Cereal Commercials

2. Christians Are Doing Dubstep
DJ Jesus died for your spins, and the son of God has an external hard drive with 800 gigs of filthy dubstep. Just check out this 15-track compilation featuring all your favorite faithful hits, like "How Great Is Our God" and "O Praise Him," now expertly remixed into dubstep classics! From preteen heartthrobs to nu-metal rock gods to angels on high, dubstep really is the genre that brings everyone together.



1. Dubstep Ruined Everyone's Taste in Music Forever
But the real problem with dubstep ... It's convinced everyone that it sounds better than anything else. If you're not screeching and wobbling through the highest and lowest of frequencies, dropping bass in faces until they bleed, you're just not doing it right. And tastes have become so deformed, not even the kings of dubstep can save the feeble minds of the masses. When Srkillex shared one of his all-time favorite songs -- Aphex Twin's beautiful and delicate track "Flim" -- with fans, they decided he'd gone soft. This song is gorgeous, and all anyone could say about it was "Where's the drop?" The drop was back in your childhood, when you were a baby.

We're doomed.