Rick Ross Don't Forgive Armed Detroit Thugs Who Robbed His Tour Bus

rick ross god forgives album.jpg
Rick Ross Pities The Fool Who Took His Shit
See also "Watch the New Rick Ross Documentary, 'We 'Bout Business'" and "Rick Ross Smokes His Weight in Jamaican Weed"

See? Now this is why you are supposed to wear all of your valuables around your neck instead of leaving them in your ride.

Rumors are swirling like smoke from a baguette-sized blunt that rap superhero Rick Ross had his God Forgives, I Don't tour bus robbed by armed thugs in Detroit. Ross was elsewhere, almost certainly making money and letting fine-ass area women graze in his beard. Fortunately, no one else was on board the bus, either.

The thieves probably should have robbed God instead. Not just because He forgives and Rick Ross don't, but also because there is a far more lucrative resale market for heavenly gold harps than for iced-out medallions of Rick Ross's face.

See the cut for idle speculation and pics of the bus after the break-in.

rick ross tour bus break in 1.jpg
via mediatakeout.com

rick ross tour bus break in 2.jpg
via mediatakeout.com

Lest you think that bawses don't ride buses, remember that Rozay only re-upped his Miami Transit EASY card after suffering two midair seizures on his private jet.

These days, he rolls from town to town on a double decker bus that has his face on the side and dollar signs in place of each S in his name. In terms of not attracting robbers, this is one step below pushing your wallet into the toes of your shoes at the beach and one step above using a $20 bill as a sleep mask while napping in the park.

Rick Ross and an earlier tour bus, in happier times:

MediaTakeOut.com has the exclusive photos of the inside of the bus, reproduced above. The blog charmingly posits that the criminals in poverty-afflicted Detroit looked at the bus and "thought it was FOOD!!!"

We're no Jessica Fletcher. But based on that photo of the stairs, the police should be looking for guys with really bad dandruff wearing size XXXXL MMG t-shirts.

In the meantime, Ross fans should start checking Detroit pawnshops for limited-edition Reeboks that smell vaguely of warm hot wings.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL
My Voice Nation Help
5 comments

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...