Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson Aren't Fat: An Open Letter to America

fat jessica simpson.jpg
What the hell is wrong with you, America?

Look at you, sitting there covered in Cheeto dust, hearts pumping pure Coca-Cola, and you're making fun of this nation's beautiful pop tarts because they happen to put on 25 pounds?

We here at Crossfade are tired of these finger-pointing, gut-busting shenanigans. Every time we step into the grocery store line, check up on our gossip blogs, flip through the cable television trash, all we see are haters picking on perfectly gorgeous ladies.

Well, now you're hearing it from us.

See also:
-Lady Gaga Reveals Half-Naked Photos, Struggles With Bulimia: "I Threw Up All the Time"
-Top Ten Musical Makeover Stunts: From Miley Cyrus to Justin Bieber and Micheal Jackson
-An Ode to Jessica Simpson's Boobs


OK ... So you think Christina Aguilera is a fat powder puff? You actually prefer her as the anorexic genie bottle bitch who wasn't comfortable being herself? You think she needs to be assless all up in a pair of chaps?

fat christina aguilerra.jpg

We're sorry, but we thought this was about music for a minute. Guess it's not good enough to be the best singer of your generation and curvy at the same time. By these standards, Adele should go kill herself because there's no hope.

What's even worse is the way you treat Lady Gaga. The Fame Monster may be "too big" to walk the runway, but this woman can't possibly have weighed more than 150 pounds in her entire life. And now you're calling her fat 'cause she's got a little lady tummy?

Fat Lady Gaga.jpg

Get real. This bitch is killin' it every night on stage in heels you will never be able to afford. And now you really look like an asshole, because it turns out she's been struggling with anorexia and bulimia since she was 15. She wasn't born that way, you turned her on herself.

But Jessica Simpson really takes the cake. Wait, so pregnant ladies aren't supposed to gain weight? They're supposed to obsess over how they look in tabloids while peeing every five seconds and being on the wildest hormone roller coaster of their entire adult lives? They're supposed to watch what they eat, even though an actual person is literally feeding off of them from inside their bodies?



It's OK to make fun of someone in the public eye for not knowing what tuna fish is, but it's not cool to rip someone to pieces during one of the most transformative and nurturing experiences they'll ever experience. Having a baby is scary enough. And you filthy paparazzi sell-out culture vultures are going to give a girl a complex.

Listen up, America. Have you looked in a mirror lately? Stepped on a scale? You're the Kool-Aid man of the supermarket aisle that is planet Earth, bro. You're nothing but gooey, red sugar-juice hollerin' "Oh yeah" without a shirt on. All of your concepts of beauty are fake anyway. Paris Hilton doesn't even look like Paris Hilton in real life.

It's this kind of attitude that makes little girls grow up thinking they're never good enough for a man that will treat them with respect. It's because of your unattainable standards that Nicki Minaj has ass implants and still talks a big game about "it's more than looks." It's because of your sick cycle of self-hatred that your daughter eats her feelings then cries about it.

Stop the bullying, yo. As long as they're talented, enriching your lives with music and entertainment, let the pop tarts eat what they want. For a better America.

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15 comments
Steve
Steve

Kat must be fat also!

justmytwocents
justmytwocents

This is all a bit hypocrytical if you ask me: we can call a stupid person stupid but we can't call a fat person fat!? what on earth kind of logic is that!?

It is blatently not about the music.....if it was that 'pair of heels we can never afford' would never have been mentioned!

In my humble little opinon gaga and the like are not the most talented musicians of our generation but that's because I don't dig on the whole pop culture scene and everyone has different tastes. My main complaint with them is that they are image obsessed and are marketed as a brand to others obsessed with image........so yes when that image falls short I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing it out! If they were belting out hits on stage in jeans and a tee really not caring how they looked, no one else would care either.......but when the way they look is the sole reason they have risen to the top it should be the sole reason they fall!

 

justeu
justeu

@MiamiNewTimes Yes, they are.

mistabeo
mistabeo

From your other article. ""I used to throw up all the time in high school. So I'm not that confident," the New York Post reported. "I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina, but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night."   You know who was calling her fat then?  Not her dad while he was serving up the meatballs.  It was other bitches.  

From this article. "We're sorry, but we thought this was about music for a minute. Guess it's not good enough to be the best singer of your generation and curvy at the same time."   Your article has nothing to do with music.  It's about telling 'Merica that these women aren't fat.  And those things are mutually exclusive, like being a great artist and being a child molester or Rhianna-puncher.  Even if Chris Brown's new song is amazing, I'm still ethically obligated to condemn his other actions, not support them.   That's not bullying, either.

mistabeo
mistabeo

This is like the obese news anchor that's hit the news recently.  Encouraging healthy choices and bullying are two different things, and this article sounds like it was written by a self-loathing, obese woman.  No one will say that Jessica Simpson was unhealthy when she did the dukes of hazzard.  No one said that she was too skinny or that eating disorders contributed to her body image.  If someone is simply ignorant of brand facts (Chicken of the Sea), you are ok with bullying?  But it's not ok to "bully" them for choosing to be gluttons?  That's now how logic works.   I don't know who is questioning Lady Gaga's fitness, but it's clear that Jessica has acknowledged that there's a problem just by signing on with weight watchers.  I usually enjoy Crossfade articles, but this is lazy and probably the result of a Morbidly Obese Monday.  Quit bitching to your nail tech and hit the gym instead.

xjng
xjng

There is a difference between being unhealthily overweight and slightly chubby as to be aesthetically displeasing. None of the above ladies are unhealthily overweight, if you've seen pictures of their bodies.People tend to use the "being FAT is bad for you" line to justify vilifying anyone who isn't skinny or perfectly toned. Being a little chubby, so long as you exercise and lead a healthy, active lifestyle (which by the way, no one knows how much exercise most celebrities get or what and how they eat) is nothing to feel ashamed about. There is a point of excess weight at which it DOES become unhealthy, but Christina and Gaga can't possibly have ever been more than 25 pounds over their normal weight. Both of them are incredibly tiny in real life, barely being over 5 feet tall, so even the tiniest weight gain will look exaggerated on them.People should just quit judging in general.

fuckoff4
fuckoff4

God what  a shit article. You know what, there's more to being FAT than aesthetics. People should be encouraged to not be FAT because it's unhealthy. You think some little girl is gonna be self conscious about being called fat? Wait until she loses a foot due to diabetes.

David Israel Nunez Alvear
David Israel Nunez Alvear

Christina Aguilera isn't fat, she's just a talentless hag that should've never made it famous.

minicirquedesoleil
minicirquedesoleil

@justmytwocents Do you get this! Are.you a bullyor something? Understand that that is hating and bullying. Do you understand how it would feel to be in their shoes? Do some research on bullying, then think about this again.h

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