R. Kelly on Single Ladies, Black Panties, and the Return of Trapped in the Closet
Lately, though, this oh-so-nasty man -- known to the authorities as Robert Sylvester Kelly -- has been tryin' hard to behave himself, donning formalwear, smoking fancy cigars, talking about true romance, penning a thoughtful personal memoir titled Soulacoaster, and just generally acting the perfect gentleman.
But now R. Kelly is back on the prowl. He's hitting the road with his Single Ladies Tour. He's prepping an extra-sexy new album. And he's seeking out every female in America. Even the married mamas.
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-Concert Review: R. Kelly's Single Ladies Tour: "Realer Than Swag" in Miami, October 21
"Oh, yeah! Gettin' ready, baby," Kelly chirps. "This tour isn't designed strictly for the single ladies," he snickers. "The show is full of old-school R. Kelly and new-school R. Kelly. So there'll definitely be 12 Play R. Kelly mixed with the TP-2 R. Kelly and right on through the Happy People R. Kelly. The whole nine!"
So get set to let your booty sweat while the Pied Piper humps, praises, digs deep, screams his own name, and works it out on classics like "Bump 'n' Grind," "The Greatest Sex," and "It's Your Birthday."
All y'all might even get a quick and dirty preview of Kells's next record -- Black Panties -- which absolutely won't be any kinda sequel to his last two surprisingly chivalrous slabs.
"Hell naw! It'll be nothin' like Love Letter or Write Me Back," the King of R&B cackles. "Black Panties is gonna be the 12 Play of today. And I don't want anybody to think that R. Kelly has left the sexual music. Because I haven't!
"When I first started makin' Black Panties about six months ago, I was pretty much doin' that particular album for all the strip clubs," the maestro explains. "Now everybody's been talkin' about it. So I think it's probably gonna go beyond just the strip clubs. But that was my intention: I wanted to do an album for the strip club."
Of course, Kelly has a lot on deck besides this collection of songs dedicated to ladies' undergarments and nudie bars. In fact, he's about to get Trapped in the Closet again. In less than a month, IFC will air the next several dozen episodes of his scandalously hilarious R&B soap-opera masterpiece.