Madonna Strips for Dirty Dollar Bills: The MDNA Tour in Miami, November 19

Photo by Sayre Berman

Her banter never got too obnoxious either. Maybe because she was playing safe for the DVD film crew.

"Fuck yeah! It's hot in here. Are my bitches hot?" Madonna shouted, shifting into a half-assed PSA about self-esteem and pride. "They can call us a bitch or a ho or gay, straight, bi, or Buddhist. But we don't care!"

And of course, she also addressed international tumult, "especially in the Middle East," saying, "I don't want to see people killed by their fellow man. And if you want to be part of bringing peace to this world, you can start by treating the person next to you like a human being! Fuck yeah!"

But last night, she avoided dropping a truly dumb quote. Like, say, her September endorsement of Obama, the "Black Muslim in the White House."

Photo by Sayre Berman

After wrapping the speaking portion of her show and sending the Majorettes to their dressing room, Madonna crooned through "Masterpiece," the theme from her recent cinematic triumph, W.E., before disappearing backstage for a wardrobe change while gangsta clowns broke it down to a circus-y dubstep-lite remix of "Justify My Love."

Reemerging in her iconic Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra over a Marlene Dietrich pantsuit sans jacket, the Queen of Pop served up some serious wish fulfillment with a straight retro rendition of "Vogue," starring an entire runway show's worth of drag divas in fur, superglittery evening gowns, even corsetted mime costumes.

Photo by Sayre Berman

Now, the MDNA show actually ends with a four-part raveout, beginning with a sci-fi kung fu take on "I'm Addicted," running through the Ray of Light era sitar pop and Bollywood b-boys of "I'm a Sinner" before closing out with the joyous, unbridled, arms-flailing sing-along of "Like a Prayer" and a real-life Dance Dance Revolution soundtracked by 2009 greatest-hits single "Celebration."

However, the deep, dark, sweaty revelation of this tour is her half-naked, slowed-down cabaret version of career-making hit, "Like a Virgin." So far, the media has hyped this borderline NSFW moment for the butt and boob flashes. But it's actually a surprisingly spare, apt, and close-to-the-bone look at Madonna's three-decade sales strategy.

Photo by Sayre Berman

Stripping off her white dress shirt, peeling down to panties, and shoving a hand between her legs, Madonna asks the audience: "You don't mind if I take off my pants, do you? Sometimes it's easier to undress yourself than express yourself."

She writhes around the stage whisper-singing through moans, "I'll be yours till the end of time." She humps the stage like her limbs don't work. And she performs no-hands mock fellatio on the microphone.

The fans, feeling a rush of power, fling wet, crumpled paper money at her prostrate body. And there's Ms. MDNA, folding herself into a human pretzel, literally bending over backward to pick up dirty dollar bills.

Three ingeniously slutty decades ... That's how long she's been selling her ass. But don't get confused by these weird, sexy games. Because Madonna's still the dom. You're still her little bitches. And she's still in total command.

Critic's Notebook

The Crowd: Sluts and virgins, alternates for the MDNA marching band, six-foot male brides in all white, 35-year-old club kids, leather daddies, casual lesbians, sado-masochistic matrons, and the like.

Madonna's Setlist
-Virgin Mary Intro
-"Girl Gone Wild"
-"Revolver"
-"Gang Bang"
-"Papa Don't Preach"
-"Hung Up"
-"I Don't Give A"
-"Best Friend" (Video Interlude)
-"Express Yourself"
-"Give Me All Your Luvin'"
-"Turning Up the Hits" (Video interlude)
-"Turn Up the Radio"
-"Open Your Heart"
-"Masterpiece"
-"Justify My Love" (Video Interlude)
-"Vogue"
-"Candy Shop"
-"Human Nature"
-"Like a Virgin"
-"Nobody Knows Me" (Video Interlude)
-"I'm Addicted"
-"I'm a Sinner"
-"Like a Prayer"
-"Celebration"

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