Nicki Minaj Compares Herself to Jesus Christ, Claims to Be the Uber-Feminist

Nicki Minaj is the new Jesus.jpg
Maybe we've been a little too hard on Nicki Minaj.

She's just a girl from Brooklyn who rose to fame on the bubbly buoyancy of a plastic ass. Over the past two years, she's paved the way for women with fake bodies in recording booths across America -- nay, Planet Earth -- to stand taller in ridiculous wigs.

So it really hurts Nicki's feelings when people criticize her every move. You know, just because she's beautiful and rich and hasn't written a good rhyme since she first fooled us by killing that verse on "Monster."

That's why she's publicly crying about it all in a self-produced, three-part documentary series called My Truth.

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In the first 22-minute installment, Minaj takes us through her whirlwind schedule of recording, filming, interviews, rehearsals, and personal appearances.

Basically, she doesn't have enough time and she's always worried about work. Quite often, Nicki's late for things because the people around her don't do their jobs well. Plus, she is a diva who refuses to wear anything in a room full of clothes. Because they're "not my colors."



But the best part is definitely when she talks about her new song, "Freedom."

"With the song 'Freedom,' I was able to write about all the things I'm juggling," she says. Then she delivers the first words to a song that we will surely be forced to listen to every hour for the next year.

"They'll never thank me for opening doors/But they ain't even thank Jesus when he died on the cross."

That's right, Minaj likens herself to Christ, because playing dress up and making funny noises is almost exactly like sacrificing yourself for the sins of mankind.

"I feel like people purposely don't see the strides that I've made for hip-hop and just for black women in general," she bemoans for the camera. "I feel like I'm an easy person for people to ridicule and tear apart."

Oh, Nicki, we take it back. This show really reveals another side of you. The side of you that really knows how to market everything you've got going on in a way that emotionally resonates.

We will immediately buy your album, buy your perfume, watch American Idol, come see your new fancy tour, and thank you when you stop by our local mall.

Without you, we wouldn't be out that $300.

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2 comments
sunny101
sunny101

really? she is very talented and successful. You're just being so ignorant. She means why would they thanks her if they can't even thank Jesus. She's not comparing herself to him.

Do us a favor and write about something you know about.

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