Justin Bieber, the Murder and Castration Plot: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Mug.jpg
Mark Staake Mugshot


Hi, I'm Mark
Prison's a great place to meet like-minded friends if, of course, by like-minded you mean bat-shit crazy, dangerous, and murderous. Such was the case for Martin when he met fellow inmate Mark Staake.

We figure that the conversation went something like this:

Martin: Justin Bieber needs to die. Do you know anyone who can strangle him with a paisley pattern necktie?
Staake: Yeah. I'm getting out soon. My nephew and I can do the job.
Martin: Really? That'd be great. Thanks. Would you mind castrating the kid also?
Staake: No, I'd love to.
Martin: Perfect. Before I forget, can you kill a few people in Vermont for me?
Staake: Not a problem. All I need are the names and addresses.
Martin: Wonderful. I'll shoot you a text via carrier pigeon next week. Thanks again.



Green Mountain Jail
The problem with Vermont--or any state, for that matter--is that if there's an outstanding warrant for your arrest and you're picked up by the authorites, you're probably going to jail. Staake can attest.

Police arrested the 41-year-old criminal and his 23-year-old nephew, Tanner Ruane, before either could commit the heinous crime, apprehending both men six-miles from the Canadian border in mid-November.

According to the New York Post, Staake was charged with violating probation and sent to jail. Ruane, however, was released, free to execute the original murder plot.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
1 comments
bruiz092278
bruiz092278

PLEASE HELP!!!I am writing to you out of total desperation. I have purchased tickets to the Justin Beiber concert in Miami this upcoming January. My home was burglarized and the tickets were stolen. I have contacted stubhub to have them reprint the tickets and they told me that they are unable to do so because the owner of the tickets said the vendor (ticketmaster) does not want to reprint the tickets. I have contacted both ticketmaster and American airlines arena and they have informed me that they have plenty of time to reprint the tickets before the concert. I bought these tickets for my granddaughter has her sole and only Christmas gift with a lot of sacrifice and I am heartbroken for her that she will not be able to attend. Please if there is anything you can do to help a 7 y.o. dreams come true. I would appreciate it endlessly. She is his self-proclaimed #1 fan and it would make all her dreams come true to see Justin Beiber. I paid over $1700.00 for these tickets ( I can provide receipts from stubhub and credit card company) and not only does stubhub say that they cant be reprinted (which is not true) but they only want to refund me 50% of what I paid. I think it is unfair and I don’t care for my money back I care to put a smile on my granddaughters face and make her dream come true. Please help me!!

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...