DJ Khaled Christmas and Miami's Six Best Holiday 2012 Parties

Khaled says: "Ho, ho, ho."

Only boring people spend the season singing silly songs in the company of loved ones while getting stuffed full of fruitcake, sucking back Manischewitz, and forging lovely lasting memories.

So be cool like Crossfade. Go get so wasted that you forget it's Christmas! Uhntz-uhntz with the Matzo crowd! Headbang through the holidays!

See also:
-Too Short Raps for Jews: "It's Hanukkah, Baby, Now Move That Ass Over"
-A Skrillex Christmas and Ten Outrageous Light Displays Synched With Crappy Music
-DMX Goes Hard on "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" Cover, Shuts Bing Crosby Down

Photo by Ciara Osorio

Candyland. With Stanton Warriors, AK1200, Juan Basshead, and others. Friday, December 21, 10 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. WTF is that rumble? Well, it isn't St. Nick, Rudolph, and the rest landing on NE 14th Street for a nog stop. Just Candyland unleashing that yuletide bass.



DJ Khaled's We The Best Christmas Party. Saturday, December 22, 11 p.m., Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Unlike Santa Claus, when DJ Khaled squeezes into a red suit, shouting, "Ho! Ho! Ho!," he ain't just bein' a jolly good fellow. He's calling for "Bitches & Bottles." 'Cause homie got a seasonal thirst.