"Deadmau5 Will Die" and Five Other Disturbing Raver Predictions for Ultra 2013

Photo by S. Pajot
Save the Deadmau5e5!!!
Will Ultra Music Festival 2013 descend into chaos?

Probably not. The UMF peeps run a very tight operation. The kids have got access to lots of free water and wi-fi. There are cops all over the streets. And the vibe is almost universally pleasant.

But there have been bad omens: City commissioner Marc Sarnoff's campaign to kill the party. The awful main stage LED screen accident. And Deadmau5 ranting and raving and demanding to know: "When's [Ultra] going to be played out?"

We needed to know the future of Ultra. So obviously, we asked the ravers.

See also:
-Ten Raver Tips on How to Dress for Ultra 2013
-Ultra 2013: Boys Noize, Crystal Castles, and Nicolas Jaar Live!
-Ultra Music Festival 2013, Weekend One, Day One: The 80-Photo Slideshow
-Five New and International Names for Molly, According to Ultra Ravers
-Swedish House Mafia Kicks Off Ultra 2013, "F#$%s Miami in the Pussy"
-Ultra in Pics: The 15 Photo Highlights, From Marijuana Boobs to Human Bananas

Photo by S. Pajot

"Deadmau5 Will Die"
He's got a prophetic name. And he's been beefing with the Ultra gods. So Chief and Champ are worried about Joel Zimmerman's well-being on the main stage.

"Humans don't control everything. So Deadmau5 might have to die," Chief shrugs. "He will die."

The prediction is terrifying. But then Champ interjectects, shitting all over his buddy's pemise: "Uh, Deadmau5 is already dead. He's just a ghost. Most people don't realize that."


Photo by S. Pajot

"No More Stage Collapses"
In high contrast to Chief's dire prognostication, these three ladies -- Weezy, Trixie, and Trini -- are, like, 1000-percent positive that Ultra 2013 will proceed without incident.

"I can see the future. No more stage collapses," Trixie prophesies. "All that bad shit is behind us."

And Ms. Weezy agrees, even if she's worried about kandi kids with contraband and weapons. "Coming in, I didn't get my ID checked. And I didn't even get my bag checked by security. It was that crowded. You know, I'm clean. But what about that guy?"

Which guy?!

Location Info


Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: General

Klipsch Amphitheater at Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: Music

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