Fashion Freakouts at Ultra Music Festival 2013

Photo by George Martinez

What's the one place on Earth so magical that you can see titties, butt cheeks, and creepy man-horses, all while wearing the contents of a sixth-grade girl's friendship bracelet box?

That's right! Ultra Music Festival, the land to which people from all over the world travel to show off their freshly tanned skin and color coordination, and weekend one saw lots of risky moves pulled off on both the dance floor and the runway.

Well, there isn't really a runway. It's more like a clusterfuck of rainbow insanity on a garbage-strewn grassy field. But who can even tell the difference?

See also:
-Ten Best Butts at Ultra 2013
-Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros at Ultra 2013
-Ultra 2013: Top Six WTF Moments from Weekend One
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra Music Festival 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)
-Ultra in Pics: The 15 Photo Highlights, From Plushie Penises to Killer Clowns

Photo by George Martinez

The world is changing. Our society is progressing whether the Tea Party wants it or not. These days, it isn't just girls who get to walk around nearly naked at music festivals. We saw more protruding balls and stiffening shafts this UMF than ever before. Keep going, you brave soldiers of the social standard. Don't stop until you get that ass tan.

Photo by George Martinez

Going for the sensible yet sexy look? Want to show some skin without burning to a crisp? A fashionable parasol will do the trick! You can look stunning, cultured, and even-toned at the same damned time, just like these lovely ladies.