Sweatstock 2013: Beatmachines and Otto Von Schirach!

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Photo by Alex Broadwell

It wouldn't be Sweatstock without some good old-fashioned Miami freakiness.

Maybe in Canada the music festivals end with handshakes and strangers gently complimenting each other on their felt hats. But this is Miami, where nothing's over until it has weird, probably videotaped sex with you. And Sweatstock 2013 was no exception. But this time, instead of some gal with her second butt implant waiting on layaway, our half-remembered lovers were a pair of synth-melting party starters.

See also:
-Holly Hunt: "Without Churchill's and Sweat, It'd Be Nearly Impossible to Sustain a Scene"
-Sweatstock 2013 at Sweat Records:The 52-Photo Slideshow
-Sweatstock 2013: World of Shit, Nunhex, Beastplague!
-Sweatstock 2013: ANR, This Heart Electric, Testokra!

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Photo by Alex Broadwell

Beatmachines:
Beatmachines is technically JJ Freire of Suenalo and Smurphio from Afrobeta. But for Sweatstock, they also featured Afrobeta's less afro-ed half, Cuci Amador on vocals, making Beatmachines a dirtier, squelchier, booty bass-ier version of Afrobeta that had been knocked up by Suenalo's libidinous funk baby daddy. Beatboxer and rapper, Komakozie, who earlier had performed his own set on the same stage, also filled out the sound.

Beatmachines describes itself as Afrobeta's "slutty sister" but you'll never catch Crossfade slut-shaming anyone, at least not for the next couple of minutes (and even then it will be as some kind of misguided seduction technique). All of the slutty sisters we've ever known have tended to be pretty fun and Beatmachines is not out there to upend anyone's conception of a slutty sister. Bring over a bottle of schnapps, nod understandingly when she complains about her sorta ex-boyfriend and don't get mad when she ashes onto your carpet and you'll have a hell of a night that will comfort you on humid, rainy Miami nights for years to come.

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Photo by Alex Broadwell

Where were we? There's something so genuine about Cuci Amador's singing and dancing, like she and her groups are not performing for a crowd, but partying with them. She'd be dancing and singing with the same abandon in her bedroom if she didn't also happen to be behind some of Miami's best music. Also, when she pulls an oversized rubber cardinal mask over her head and dances with an umbrella, nobody does it better. This is generally agreed upon.

She was backed up by two robotic cat dancers mounted on Smurphio's keyboard rig. Amador, as otherworldly as she may be, is still only flesh and blood and the indefatigable robot cats locked her into some kind of John Henry battle between man and machine. Though Amador did win Sweatstock 2013, the robot cats' eyes maintained an eerie and hungry glow long after Smurphio switched them off. If this is how the robot revolution begins, let it come and may the end of life as we know it be scored by Beatmachines.


Location Info

Venue

Map

Sweat Records

5505 NE Second Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Churchill's Pub

5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

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1 comments
Sweaty
Sweaty

Otto von Schirach is quite talented.   And bikini girl had an amazing body.  that is all.

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