DJ Paris Hilton Signs to Cash Money: Five Reasons Her "House Album" Will Suck Balls
Paris Hilton must really love abuse, because she just signed a record deal with Cash Money to release her follow-up to 2006's weird and critically-forgotten Paris.
She plans to release a "house album." And, like, nothing about a fluffy hip-hop label signing a talentless heiress to make EDM music sounds sellout-y.
Gasp! You say Cash Money's legit ... Well, let us remind you, this is the same label that signed the poppy Barbie doll rapper Nicki Minaj, as well as the who-gives-a-damn '90s macho mess Limp Bizkit. To put it bluntly, Lil Wayne, Birdman, and crew don't know what the eff they're doing these days.
And here are Crossfade's five reasons that DJ Paris Hilton's "house album" will suck balls.
She's a Terrible DJ
In 2013, DJing and producing go hand-in-hand. Granted, not all producers should be DJing and not all DJs should be producing. But we're going to go out on a limb and say Hilton shouldn't be doing either. We know that Afrojack worked on the album with her, so it might have some chance for chart success if he ghostwrote a couple dank hooks. We still don't really want to listen to that shit, though.