Six Worst Miami Pick-Up Lines, According to the Ladies

Six_Worst_Pickup_Lines_Miami.jpg
Photo by Laurie Charles
At least the photobomber in the back didn't ask Delmarys out to Scarlett's.

Listen up, fellas ... Pick-up lines rarely work. Most of the time, they are lame, cliché, and straight-up ridiculous.

That also means it takes a lot of courage (or several brewskies) to go up to an attractive lady at a bar and ask her if "it hurt when ya fell from heaven." And no, just because she may laugh, it doesn't mean you won her over. She is laughing at you.

To spare you the ridicule, here's a little piece of advice: If you find a woman by the bar, sippin' on a Sam Adams, a simple, "Hey, how are you?" will work a lot better than asking her if she's tired ... 'Cause she's been running through your mind all night.

Here are six of the worst Miami pick-up lines guys, all of which should never ever be used again.

See also:
-Blackbird Ordinary, Electric Pickle Named Among 50 Best Concert Venues in America

"Wanna Go to Scarlett's?"
Delmarys just finished doing a shot with her friends by the bar at Blackbird Ordinary.

"This actually happened to me last night. I was out with some friends and a guy came up to me and asked, 'Who are you here with?' I told him I was here with friends and asked him the same question.

"We were outside and he told me, 'That's my Maserati right there, but I hired a driver because I'm drinking tonight. Wanna go to Scarlett's?'" Delmarys laughed as she retold the story.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Laughed and told him to have fun at Scarlett's."

Location Info

Map

Blackbird Ordinary

729 SW 1st Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music


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18 comments
chipahoy
chipahoy topcommenter

Many of these women are "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" (a seventies movie in which a woman clubs every night looking for the perfect man; she is finally murdered by some guys she picks up at a bar).  These chicks think that they are going to find Mr. Perfect who is going to carry them away from their problems and take care of them - wake up ladies! Get in school, open a business, learn to be self reliant.  And man are you ladies competetive - anything to get one up on the other girls. Boob jobs, butt jobs, piercings, porn wanna be tattoos, skanky hooker outfits, whatever it takes. It's hilarious!

RANTone
RANTone

i have only once asked a girl for her number and it was back in like '94 when i was about 12 years old. even when i talk to girls i dont know and it goes well (which is pretty uncommon), i rarely even ask for their name. i can make a girl laugh, but i got zero game.

david
david

I think "wouldn't it be great to be somewhere far away from this overrated swamp full of vapid, self-obsessed nitwits?" might work well.

Adrian Arias
Adrian Arias

Honestly, half those women are obviously D-deprived and have no business rejecting guys. They should know how to accept charity when it's offered.

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

i never buy a girl a drink when i first meet her but then again i know how to pick up chicks :)

Christine King
Christine King

"I am supposed to have a threesome with these two chicks in my luxury hotel, but I'll cancel it for you" and from same idiot "Do you want to see my Porsche?" and "My shirt costs $400"

Orlando De Frias
Orlando De Frias

Damn girl, you must be an angel. Because I'm pretty sure I raped and murdered you last week.

somejerk
somejerk

A really great and effective pick up thing is to print out a fake pay stub that makes it look like your rich and to "accidentally" have it fall out of your pocket dancing next to an obvious gold digger. 

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