Six Worst Miami Pick-Up Lines, According to the Ladies

Club_Crasher_Worst_Pick_Up_Lines_Shoulder_Kiss.JPG
Photo by Laurie Charles
Eliza Duquette, right, and her friend.

Lingering Shoulder Kiss
Eliza Duquette was enjoying the last sips of her cocktail on the outside terrace with a friend.

"Actually, tonight a guy came out of nowhere and told me, 'I love you,'" Duquette laughed as she brushed her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear.

"And then he gave me a lingering five-second kiss on my shoulders, told my friends, 'I love all of you,' and then walked away."

Laaaaaame.

Club_Crasher_Worst_Pick_Up_Lines_Made_In_Heaven.JPG
Photo by Laurie Charles
Jackie Vargas, left, and her friend Lisette Boriego, were heaven sent.

"Were You Made in Heaven?"
"How about the one when they ask you if they can see your shirt?" said Jackie Vargas, who's been out of the dating game for seven years, but recalls her days of pick-up lines.

"How does that one go?" I asked.

"Can I see your shirt? I wanna see what size you are and if you were made in heaven," Vargas said.

"Yeah, right. Nowadays it's not even a line," interrupted her friend, Lisette Boriego. "They just get up behind you and rub on you."

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Blackbird Ordinary

729 SW 1st Ave., Miami, FL

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18 comments
chipahoy
chipahoy topcommenter

Many of these women are "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" (a seventies movie in which a woman clubs every night looking for the perfect man; she is finally murdered by some guys she picks up at a bar).  These chicks think that they are going to find Mr. Perfect who is going to carry them away from their problems and take care of them - wake up ladies! Get in school, open a business, learn to be self reliant.  And man are you ladies competetive - anything to get one up on the other girls. Boob jobs, butt jobs, piercings, porn wanna be tattoos, skanky hooker outfits, whatever it takes. It's hilarious!

RANTone
RANTone

i have only once asked a girl for her number and it was back in like '94 when i was about 12 years old. even when i talk to girls i dont know and it goes well (which is pretty uncommon), i rarely even ask for their name. i can make a girl laugh, but i got zero game.

david
david

I think "wouldn't it be great to be somewhere far away from this overrated swamp full of vapid, self-obsessed nitwits?" might work well.

Adrian Arias
Adrian Arias

Honestly, half those women are obviously D-deprived and have no business rejecting guys. They should know how to accept charity when it's offered.

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

i never buy a girl a drink when i first meet her but then again i know how to pick up chicks :)

Christine King
Christine King

"I am supposed to have a threesome with these two chicks in my luxury hotel, but I'll cancel it for you" and from same idiot "Do you want to see my Porsche?" and "My shirt costs $400"

Orlando De Frias
Orlando De Frias

Damn girl, you must be an angel. Because I'm pretty sure I raped and murdered you last week.

somejerk
somejerk

A really great and effective pick up thing is to print out a fake pay stub that makes it look like your rich and to "accidentally" have it fall out of your pocket dancing next to an obvious gold digger. 

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