Five Bad Bitches You'll Meet at Jello Wrestling in Miami
Photo by Laurie Charles They're bad bitches and they know it.
Athletic rugby jocks, mid-aged men wearing cowboy hats, and ladies dressed in patriotic red, white, and blue costumes crowded a rectangular inflatable kiddie pool filled with bright red Jello by the back stage of Churchill's Pub.
Before the ladies of the Fort Miami Women's Rugby League made their entrance and wrestled one another in slippery gelatin for the sake of raising funds for their team, the crowd of about 100 started the wave.
As these badass chicks made their way onto the wrestling "ring," half of the crowd chanted, "tetas, tetas, tetas," while the other half responded, "they're not that drunk, they're not that drunk, they're not that drunk."
Moments later, as Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" blasted on the speaker, the announcer, a guy in his twenties rockin' short, bright yellow spandex, began the countdown to the first of five three-minute rounds of fierce, hardcore wrestling where ladies dressed as Pocahontas, Ke$sha, and Martha Washington, to name a few, went at it with each other.
Check out the champs and the moves that lead them to victory.
Photo by Michelle Horevitz The aftermath of getting stripper poled by Pocahontas.
Pocahontas: The Stripper Pole
If anyone thought this match was just going to be girls rolling around in Jello, they were completely wrong.
Pocahontas went at it with her opponent, a petite blonde in a red polka dot top and shorts - she straddled, head-locked, and shoved her around. And after throwing Jello at the crowd and showing off her nipple pasties, the crowd chose her as the winner.
So what was Pocahontas' move?
"I just stripper poled her," she said.
We can never watch Pocahontas the same way.