Pitbull and Flo Rida Make Shocking Discovery: "White Girl Got Some Ass!"
Almost 200 years ago, famed naturalist Charles Darwin boarded the HMS Beagle, an exploratory vessel captained by pioneering meteorologist Robert FitzRoy, for an epic voyage to the wildly exotic, nearly untouched, species-rich Galápagos Islands.
There, Darwin and FitzRoy would explore the landscape and catalog the biosphere and become renowned men of science.
But today, ol' Chuck and Bob's triumph has been trumped. Because native Miami ass-splorers Flo Rida and Pitbull just made a shocking discovery ...
It was just another sexy, sunny day on the waters of South Beach. When, suddenly...
Off in the distance, Flo Rida spots an uncharacteristically big, fat Caucasian gluteus maximus. And like the Christopher Columbus of butts, he marvels: "Damn, that white girl got some ass!"
Obviously, Flo "can't believe it." And he "wanna see it!"
So he and his homie Pitbull hurriedly hump after that rarest (and palest) of asses in a speedboat loaded with other sexy cryptozoological curiosities. You know, like a goth mermaid and stuff.