Six Reasons Riff Raff Is an Unfunny Moron

riff_raff.jpg

There's a lot of talk about racial divides in this country. But there's one thing that Americans of all colors, creeds, ethnicities, and walks of life can agree on: Riff Raff is a fucking embarrassment.

Have you seen this confused individual? He's supposed to be a joke (we think), but it's one of those things where you live in the joke for so long you start to lose sight of the punch line. It's kind of like what Joaquin Phoenix did in I'm Still Here, but without any of the redeeming artistic aspects.

And no, just because Diplo thinks you're cool, doesn't mean you aren't an unfunny moron.

See also:
-Five Reasons Today's Rappers Are Fakes

He Didn't Grow Up Talking That Way
So, Riff Raff, AKA Jody Highroller was actually born Jody Christian. He's from Houston, but we doubt he's from the part that actually produces streetwise individuals. If he struggled as a child, he wouldn't walk around, acting like such a moron. Instead, his thin veil of humor and ignorant cultural reappropriations lead us to believe that he must have gone to private school, come from a good home, and been sheltered for his entire youthful existence. This man has probably never had any reason to worry in his life.

He Has an Icee Chain
Case in point: A person who's earned a dollar instead of being given one probably wouldn't spend money like a teenage girl. This goofy-ass cornbread bro has an Icee chain?! Like, it looks like an Icee that you buy at a gas station, but it's covered in precious jewels and could probably feed a whole family in Africa for a year. We assume it's supposed to be kitschy and ironic, but it just makes him look like an asshole.



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19 comments
getnonni
getnonni

HATER HATER HATER!  You just wrote a column dedicated to trying to put down someone who makes more money than you and has more fans than you.  You're using his celebrity to try and further your own career.  Try to work on positive articles instead of bashing people you are jealous of.

justins.tennison
justins.tennison

as Adam said I didn't know that anybody able to make $5928 in 1 month on the computer. did you see this website www.Work25.coℳ

LexiSmalls
LexiSmalls

"6 reasons I'm jealous of Riff Raff and wish I was him"

Yolhem Kuna
Yolhem Kuna

distortion to the Hip Hop culture ....

nconcklin
nconcklin

"A person who's earned a dollar instead of being given one probably wouldn't spend money like a teenage girl."

So I'm guessing you're entirely ignorant to all of modern hiphop culture then? Cause...uh... when you come from an impoverished background you tend to not know how to handle money responsibly 

Kristin Bovard Slamp
Kristin Bovard Slamp

I never heard of this guy until I read this. Curious by nature, I was inclined to watch the video, and now I've lost 1:52 of my life I'll never get back. I will however, have "now I've got the juice", whatever that means, stuck in my head on repeat for the rest of the day. Sad.

Zach Carpenter
Zach Carpenter

Boy doh lemme pull the RICE OUT! Some people like to rock at an obtuse angle.

Catalin Iordache
Catalin Iordache

am embarrasment to rap ?not enough said. fuck that, I'd rather listen to nickelback,bieber,nicki minaj and every other musician that the world hates,hated and will hate for the next 50 years...shit, I think my ears are bleeding

Catalin Iordache
Catalin Iordache

I heard of this guy for the first time in my life, and thought, hey, what the f*ck could be so wrong with this guy except his gay-ass face...this is gotta be the world dumbest cracker ever...I would tell this guy to get proper job,and stop talking like someone keeps kicking his nuts all the time

Matt Winrow
Matt Winrow

Riff is the shit. He's entertaining as hell. Never knew u could be defined for wearing a icee chain. That slimmer one is dope though. I don't care where he's from. We all have stupid tattoos. Franco played him out in spring breakers. Let the kid live n do his thing. "If you see a hater point them out"

Nick Diorio
Nick Diorio

Thats all opinion. Not many people can understand what he is or does. Diplo and many other credible djs support him, and ill take diplos view over a hating blog sites, any day

areyb001
areyb001

How dare you speak negatively of the great interlactic space king that is one Mr. Jody Highroller. Cleary, you do not have the intellect (proud graduate of Versace Junior College) to understand his humor. Mr. Highroller is a stand-up guy who once dated a girl from taco bell.

A couple of reasons why you might hate the demi-god that is Riff Raff:

-He balls so hard that you mam are damn near exhausted. Who wants to be tired all the time from another man's balling?

-Mr. Highroller looks so good that your baby mama wants to assault him. Understandably, this would anger me as well. However, this is the reality of the matter, Mr. Highroller is a very attractive young man.

-The most realistic reason however is that Mr. Highroller probably snubbed you after you interupted him in a meta-physical journey exploring the relationship between world hunger and witty lyrical wordplay.

Jorge Shicken
Jorge Shicken

and before this sorry piece of pathetic journalism, i had never even heard of the guy.

Random
Random

@getnonni You're kidding me right? This guy is a full blown idiot, a disgrace. Have you seen the way he looks, dresses, talks, acts? It's all a huge insult to humanity. Seriously, whoever made him a star did so because of his extreme fantasy with MTV. He doesn't deserve the money he's earned, he looks and acts like a total a**hole. The worst part is doctors, fire fighters, veterans, etc. earn less than this embarrassment. How can anyone, (with a functional brain), write something positive of him? 

oldjitmusic
oldjitmusic

@Nick Diorio Exactly. Riff Raff is one of those genius anomalies in the same vein as a Cool Keith or Bootsy Collins in my humble opinion.  Some folks just don't get it yet!  But Diplo has a history of being a taste maker for the millenials and has what is probably the most influential music label in our modern time.  I'd take his cred over some dumb ass columnist any day. 

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