Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Rapper

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Ever since dance music decided to overdose on molly, the only thing respectable alternative for pop music lovers is hip-hop.

With that said, we're sorry, hip-hop, but we have to start holding you to a higher standard. You don't want to end up like EDM, do you? Trust us, you don't.

Fix up, look sharp. You're pretty sloppy. So please, take a real hard, close, honest look at yourself. And if you're guilty of one of these five symptoms of wack-hackery, well, do the Gandhi and be the change you wish to see in the world. The future of music depends on you.

See also: Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty DJ

You End Every Line With the Same Word
The thing that makes hip-hop so great is the joint celebration of music and language. Sure, sometimes dope beats are great on their own. But if you're not teaching someone a new dance, apply the rule your momma taught you: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." When you open your mouth, nothing but fly, clever, witty-ass shit should come out. You can still brag, and you can still battle, but you're going to keep losing if you don't brush up on your vocabulary. Reading books doesn't kill you, and what doesn't kill you makes you a better MC.



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21 comments
Luis A. Barberena
Luis A. Barberena

Do you post the same story twice? Then might be a shitty rag Miami New Times

Ric Frambach
Ric Frambach

6th sign-you're on a major label 7th sign-you're in the top 10 of Billboard's pop chart 8th sign-you're doing commercials that air during the SuperBowl 9th sign-more guests rap on your album than you do

Castillo M Isaac
Castillo M Isaac

Chris Rosales Sergio Castillo Remember where you heard it first

Alan Gribble
Alan Gribble

So if you're not Kendrick Lamar, you're probably not a good rapper? He's the standard of the hiphop world? Is there anything more closed minded you can suggest that if you aren't Kendrick, especially when you're ranking a mediocre rapper so highly in a deluded rap game (Lamar wouldn't have been anything in the golden age of hip hop), you probably aren't great. This in my opinion constitutes 'Diarrhea of the mouth', to me real hiphop lives underground. And I can easily name some MC's that blow Kendrick's over-hyped lyricism and slightly above average story telling out of the overrated water.

Jorge Mederos
Jorge Mederos

No wonder no one respects this city. Get over myself? Get your head out of your ass, Clint.

Clint Diamond
Clint Diamond

It's the Miami New Times. It's entertainment. Get over yourself.

Jorge Mederos
Jorge Mederos

Miami New Times, you have nothing better to write about? Seriously?

shalmont
shalmont

@Alan Gribble if you had an ounce of intelligence you would have got the part where he said "radio"... hes not comparing underground rappers or battle rappers... there is always a "greatest" in each lane... he is by FAR on the top tier of his lane and to argue that you'd have to name top selling RADIO played artist with better lyrics and higher numbers in the selling charts..

I'm all about true hip hop, but over the decades that I have been a hip hop head I have learned to appreciate each lane and new style that has come and gone.  If you are stuck in the past of biggie and pac then kudos to you but you wont ever be able to enjoy the new.  

K-Dot at the current state of hip hop is the best at what he does in the lane hes in.  Statistically speaking you cannot disprove this, love it or hate it :shrug:

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