Miley Cyrus, America's Worst Twerker: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

miley_face.jpg

America. We're on the brink of war, just moments from disaster, shaking up and down, side to side, hanging out the bottom of some nude-colored shorts.

No, we're not talking about Syria. We're talking about Cyrus -- Miley Cyrus. And while the President fumbles with words and foreign relations, the nation finds itself distracted by the greatest ratchet white-girl story that the world has ever known.

From delusions of grandeur to twerking, from nude swings to rap debuts, Miley Cyrus is the hottest mess Disney has ever produced.

See also: Video Vixen Workout: Seven Steps to Total Twerk Fitness!

Famous Last Words: "They Do Anything For Me"
We're not exactly sure when Ms. Cyrus lost her grip on reality, but it might have been that time she tried Salvia. Anyway, she's a total goner. She was riding high alongside Atlanta buddy Mike Will Made It on the MTV red carpet. Sway interviewed the starlet, who told him all about her big plans. "This is just the beginning of my movement," she blathered. "This is part of a movement that I'm about to create, and my fans have been really a part of it. Go crazy!" Her fans cry out on cue and then she's all, "See, they'll do anything for me," with no hint of irony in her voice. We. Can't. Wait. To see her three years from now.

See also:
-Miley Cyrus (Briefly) Takes Over South Beach's Clevelander Hotel: "Twerk Contest, Anyone?"


My Voice Nation Help
13 comments
cooperschuler
cooperschuler

my roomate's step-aunt makes $67/hr on the laptop. She has been out of work for five months but last month her paycheck was $20177 just working on the laptop for a few hours. their explanation== > w­w­w.B­a­y­9­3.ℂ­o­m

Dimitrij Lianevski
Dimitrij Lianevski

wondering, if she saves some money for rehab...wouldnt count on the fans here :D

Eddie Alarcon
Eddie Alarcon

She's not going anywhere...she's already become an illuminati puppet. Watch how even more famous she'll become by end of this year.

Cary Cary
Cary Cary

The media needs to stop giving her attention so she can go away.

gynell
gynell

LOL that's because you can't really twerk if you don't have a butt to work.

Jayan Bertrand
Jayan Bertrand

This is the kinda pressure that ruins these people's lives. Then shes gonna end up like Britney and Lindsay

Sarah Sarlay
Sarah Sarlay

Change the channel and stop the publicity. Simple

Gregory Lee
Gregory Lee

Twerk Miley, Twerk !!(in the voice of Forrest Gump!) You Go Girl!! (Oprah's Voice)... LOL

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...