Miley Cyrus, America's Worst Twerker: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
America. We're on the brink of war, just moments from disaster, shaking up and down, side to side, hanging out the bottom of some nude-colored shorts.
No, we're not talking about Syria. We're talking about Cyrus -- Miley Cyrus. And while the President fumbles with words and foreign relations, the nation finds itself distracted by the greatest ratchet white-girl story that the world has ever known.
From delusions of grandeur to twerking, from nude swings to rap debuts, Miley Cyrus is the hottest mess Disney has ever produced.
Famous Last Words: "They Do Anything For Me"
We're not exactly sure when Ms. Cyrus lost her grip on reality, but it might have been that time she tried Salvia. Anyway, she's a total goner. She was riding high alongside Atlanta buddy Mike Will Made It on the MTV red carpet. Sway interviewed the starlet, who told him all about her big plans. "This is just the beginning of my movement," she blathered. "This is part of a movement that I'm about to create, and my fans have been really a part of it. Go crazy!" Her fans cry out on cue and then she's all, "See, they'll do anything for me," with no hint of irony in her voice. We. Can't. Wait. To see her three years from now.