Miami's Ten Best Halloween 2013 Parties
Photo by George Martinez
It's that time of the year in Miami, when surprisingly attractive reanimated corpses, demonically possessed street walkers, evil noise-addled punks, regurgitating ravers, and centerfold models mob the bars and clubs to get drunk, stupid, and possibly naked in remembrance of the dead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are probably better ways to honor the departed than slamming a dozen Boiling Cauldron shots, trying to stuff your face with 666 bite-size Snickers bars, and exposing your ass because it's "totally haunted."
But who knows? You can't hear ghosts complain. Unless you've got a Ouija board. And then the doorman won't let you in.
Here are Crossfade's best Halloween 2013 parties.
See also: Miami's Halloween 2013 Party Guide
RL Grime. Tuesday, October 29, 10 p.m., Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Tickets cost $15 plus fees via ticketfly.com. Ages 18 and up. When bass monster RL Grime growls, "I'm gonna kill you and bury your ass beneath a gravemarker emblazoned with nothing but a frowny face," he's just passing on a few Halloween-y truths: (1) Low end frequencies can be lethal; (2) Partying sometimes comes at a price; and (3) Death ain't no fun.
Halloween: Festival of Freaks. With Suenalo and Mr. Pauer, plus DJs Contra and Sharpsound. Thursday, October 31, 10 p.m., Blackbird Ordinary, 729 SW First Ave., Miami; 305-671-3307; blackbirdordinary.com. No cover. Ages 21 and up. In olden times, a Festival of Freaks was a parade of pinheads, bearded ladies, Siamese twins, hermaphrodites, and limbless men. And people paid admission for a glimpse of "the world's greatest living curiosities." But that shit was exploitative, insensitive, and politically incorrect. So these days, a freak is any person from Miami who likes to party in costume. And the fest is free.
697 N. Miami Ave., Miami, FL