Miami's Halloween 2013 Party Guide

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Photo by George Martinez

Forget the candy ... Halloween in Miami is all about getting drunk and laid.

That's why we here at Crossfade advise against wearing ultra-creepy costumes. 'Cause almost no one (except maybe that family member whose 4Chan screename is "Uncle Fester") wants to have sex with a dead nun or killer clown.

So if you're a single and available trick-or-treater over the age of 21, here is our three-part plan for boozing and floozing on All Hallows' Eve in the MIA: (1) Dress up as either a big dick in a lubricated Magnum XL condom or a slutty whatever; (2) Slam so many Candy Corn Vodka shots that it becomes impossible to even slur some lame pickup line like "I wanna Monster Mash you"; and (3) Consult Crossfade's Halloween guide before Uncle Fester lures you to the St. Succubus' Greasepaint Morgue party in his basement.

See also: Miami's Ten Best Halloween 2013 Parties

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Photo by Lex Hernandez

Heaven & Hell Lingerie Party. Presented by InterASSional Wednesdays. Wednesday, October 23, 10 p.m., Mokai, 235 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-673-1409; mokaimiami.com. Ages 21 and up.

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Photo by Ivan Delgado

Wynwood Halloween Extravaganza Music Carnival. With midway rides, unlimited beer, and a "zombie zone" afterparty with DJs Julian Ingrosso, Chicco Secci, and others. Friday, October 25, 4 p.m. to midnight, Wynwood Village, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; wynwoodmusiccarnival.com. Tickets cost $25 to $180 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up for afterparty.

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Photo by George Martinez

Halloween at Penthouse 50. With DJs Nikolas and Lazardi. Friday, October 25, 10 p.m., Fifty at the Viceroy Hotel, 485 Brickell Ave., Miami; 305-503-4417; viceroymiami.com. Ages 21 and up.

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Photo by George Martinez

Jokers Asylum: Black Fridays Halloween Bash. With burlesque by Morgan La Rue, Val Vampyre, and Lisa Ann, as well as hosts Matt "Joker" Havoc and Carlos "Batman" Blanchard, plus DJs LinderSMASH, Lorenzo DjKaos Fernandez, and others. Friday, October 25, 10 p.m., The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com. Admission costs $5 to $10. Ages 21 and up.

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Photo by George Martinez

Wynwood Halloween Extravaganza Music Carnival. With midway rides, unlimited beer, and a "zombie zone" afterparty with DJs Julian Ingrosso, Chicco Secci, and others. Saturday, October 26, noon to midnight, Wynwood Village, 318 NW 23rd St., Miami; wynwoodmusiccarnival.com. Tickets cost $25 to $180 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up for afterparty.

Location Info

Venue

Map

SLS Hotel South Beach

1701 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

FIFTY at the Viceroy Hotel

485 Brickell Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

The Viceroy

485 Brickell Ave., Miami, FL

Category: General

Port of Miami

1015 N. America Way, Miami, FL

Category: General

Set Nightclub

320 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

LIV

4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

PAX Miami - CLOSED

337 SW 8th St., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Blackbird Ordinary

729 SW 1st Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

The Stage

170 NE 38th St., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Electric Pickle

2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Wall Lounge

2201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

Space

34 NE 11th St., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Mansion

1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

Tobacco Road

626 S. Miami Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Mokai

235 23rd St., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

Miami Beach Convention Center

1901 Convention Center Dr, Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

Churchill's Pub

5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

Will Call

700 NE 2nd Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

The Vagabond - CLOSED

30 NE 14th St., Miami, FL

Category: Music

The Clevelander Hotel

1020 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

LIV

4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Music

Baoli Miami

1906 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: Restaurant

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