Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ
He More Than Likely Has a Substance-Abuse Problem and Is Bad With Money
Some of the successful DJs stop partying so hard, but some of them are just raging alcoholics. Even the local DJs you sleep with will end up spending more money on coke than romantic dinners for two. And remember, they got into this because having a real job is obviously terrible and means they've given up on their childhood dreams of being a rock star. (Never grow up, never surrender.) If they're rich now, they're probably going to spend it all on sneakers or drugs or equipment (because they are all obsessed with gear), and unless they change names and genres and ride the fickle craze wave like a scene prophet for the next 30 years (unlikely), they're eventually going to end up broke. And they didn't go to college.
No One Wants to Go Out That Much, It Gets Real Old Real Fast
Whether or not your DJ beau gets steady gigs, you can be sure he has a revolving schedule of places to be for every day of the week. If you hope to stand a chance against the endless horde of early 20-somethings waving their empty heads and Forever 21-clad asses in his face, you're going to have to stand in the DJ booth next to him. It's fun at first, but after a while, you want to burn all your heels and spend the rest of your life sleeping. He won't be stoked when his party-ready babe turns into a real woman with responsibilities and grown-ass clothing, and he'll end up drunk enough to one day sneak away with some slut. That, or you develop a substance-abuse problem of your own, and that's no fun either.
See also: Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty DJ