Justin Beiber's Six Most NSFW Moments

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Via instagram.com/JustinBieber

Ah, little Justin Bieber. He's little no more. Our heart Biebz with joy every time he makes a headline, and these days, every headline is dirtier than the last.

Because he's a man, he can't twerk his way into adulthood. He could probably get Terry Richardson to take his nudie photos, but that would be even creepier than when Disney princesses eff Arizona Ice Teas. So Bieber has to systematically destroy his good-boy image through a carefully planned series of dick-pic slips, Billy Jean-type baby scares, and trips to the Brazilian brothel.

You've come a long way, Bieby. This is your life.

See also: Miley Cyrus' Guide to Drugs: Weed, Cocaine, Molly, and More!

Bieber Gave Me a Baby
It all began when the Biebz was very young. A woman in San Diego named Mariah Yeater came out claiming Bieber was the father of her three-month-old son. Now, baby scares happen when you're famous, but the really freaky part was that the child would have been conceived in 2010, back when the teen heartthrob was, uh, 16 years old. To make it even more strange, the woman told reporters Bieber approached her and made giving up his virginity part of the deal. It turned out the woman was lying, unsurprisingly, but it still made for great gossip.

See also: Justin Bieber Loses Virginity, Lasts 30 Seconds, Allegedly Fathers Bastard Child

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Dick Pics Galore
Do you remember when Justin Bieber had his laptop stolen in Tacoma, Washington, and it turned out to be just a giant marketing scheme to promote his new music video for "Beauty and the Beat" featuring the inherently NSFW Nicki Minaj? Well, even if you don't, it was a nasty trick by his PR team, but it wasn't entirely fruitless. These totally hot, totally risqué nudie photos "leaked." Biebers clever PR team calls the photos fakes, and his millions of Bieliebers agree (something about his nipples and his bellybutton), but damn, we still enjoy looking at this just the same.

See also: Gwar Murders Justin Bieber, Pope Francis, Royal Baby in Fort Lauderdale

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