Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene

New_Years_Resolutions_Miami_Club_Scene_2014.jpg
Photo by Yesenia Hernandez

Do you hear that? It's the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let's have one more moment of silence for the past.

Alright! Now, let's look forward and promise ourselves something. Miami, this year will be better! Say it with me now. This. Year. Will. Be. Better.

We here at Crossfade have compiled some suggestions toward that goal. Feel free to tell us what assholes we are in the comment section. Cheers!

See also: Miami's Six Most Expensive New Year's Eve 2014 Parties

selfiegirls.jpg
Photo by Liliana Mora

Stop Taking Selfies on the Dance Floor
Alright y'all. The shit has gone on long enough. New rule: if you take three pictures, and you don't like the way they look, too bad so sad. We suggest a three strike rule with pics from now on, because seriously, if we see another gaggle of drunk bitches taking pic after pic on the middle of the dance floor, we're going to start physically assaulting you cunts. News flash: no one cares about your pictures at the club, except for creeps you don't even want looking at your pictures anyway. Stop the madness, and turn your flash off for christ's sake.

ultra_tits.jpg
Photo by: George Martinez

Consider Clothes
We've already gotten some heat for suggesting this, but we're going to try again anyway. Ladies, maybe you want to like, I don't know, get dressed before your leave the house for a party? We know it's hot in Miami, but that doesn't mean you have to be a trashy dunce. We understand that festivals are probably beyond saving, but do your butt cheeks have to come out to play every time you go to a party? Also, no good relationship started with attention from nipple pasties - and no good hook-ups, either. If you're under 18, you might want to reconsider the path your life is taking.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
8 comments
Steve Sylus
Steve Sylus

Rachel Layne lol that's Kat Bien for ya

Vanessa Phelps
Vanessa Phelps

Not bad not bad. I don't do any of this crap anyways but good advice for those who do.

Rachel Layne
Rachel Layne

How pathetic that your publication would stand behind this writing: "if we see another gaggle of drunk bitches taking pic after pic on the middle of the dance floor, we're going to start physically assaulting you cunts." Good to know MNT stands for violence against women.

Rob Wagenseil
Rob Wagenseil

Turn off your flash when you're recording video on your camera phone.

John Anthony
John Anthony

3 picture rule? I say 1 and done. If they don't like it, forgettaboutit

pod_nt
pod_nt topcommenter

Resolution Zero - No more "EDM" DJs. 

pod_nt
pod_nt topcommenter

Agreed. It's a night club, not a bloody quince photoshoot in a Bird Road studio.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Events

Loading...