Ten Walking Raver Cliches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

Raver_Types_Ultra-Music-Festival_Miami.jpg
Photo by George Martinez

Ravers are like snowflakes, right?

Wrong. It's actually not uncommon to find two (or twelve) who look (and sometimes behave) almost exactly alike.

In fact, we here at Crossfade have spent a lot of time wandering around EDM fests in a state of perpetual déjà vu, encircled by thousands of party people who seem to be nearly identical human copies of specific stock types.

Here, for instance, are ten walking cliches you meet at Ultra Music Festival in Miami.

See also: 50 WTF Quotes From Ultra Music Festival

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Photo by Ian Witlen

The Bro
He always wears shorts. He often rocks an obnoxious tank. And he's made many questionable facial hair choices. But close your eyes and the bro can still be identified by his especially dexterous use of the word bro, bro. He may employ it as a friendly term of endearment, as in, "Want a massage, bro?" Or a verb, as in, "We are bro-ing so hard right now!" Or even an expression of surprise and amazement, as in, "Oh! Whoa! Broooooo!"

Kandi-Kid_Raver_Types_Ultra-Music-Festival_Miami.jpg
Photo by George Martinez

The Kandi Kid
A PLUR-tastic mystic once told us that "these beads are magic." And admittedly, at the time, it sounded like a bunch of hazy-minded hokum. But after several trips to Ultra land, we are kinda-sorta beginning to believe that covering one's body (especially the forearms and face) in rainbow-colored plastic finery just might have life-sustaining and age-defying effects. After all, the kandi kid is among the oldest raver types still found 'round EDM fests. Yet these bead-bedecked wonders never seem any older than a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked 15.

See also: Ten Raver Tips on How to Dress for Ultra Music Festival

Location Info

Map

Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: General

Klipsch Amphitheater at Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: Music

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15 comments
Vee Towers
Vee Towers

Does this person even know what cliché means?

Mechanesthesia
Mechanesthesia

One day I'll be able to afford those $400....  How many years has it been? O_O

Ribo Selarom
Ribo Selarom

Rachel Quigley is that you in the purple hat?

erikfab30
erikfab30

Are you guys seriously re-treading this topic AGAIN??? Every bloody year, this old chestnut seems to surface. I guess it's really hard to have a fresh perspective on such a stale event,huh?

SoFLBrgOverload
SoFLBrgOverload

LOL Ultra the smell of ass crack and funk! Most look like a bunch of drugged out sluts and assholes. 

dnylny
dnylny

@erikfab30  Every new year we cover the ball drop.  Should we stop cuz we do it every year?

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