EDM's Five Biggest Hacks
We met David Guetta when we heard he was moving to Edgewater. He seemed like a nice enough guy, even though we waited around an hour and 15 minutes for him to bother showing up. We talked about how cool Wynwood is, how it makes him think of Europe, and then we asked about the work he was putting in on his next album. But you know what happens when you ask David Guetta about his new album? He smiles and has literally nothing to say. We're not saying Guetta is totally worthless; we're just saying we have no reason to believe he works on his own albums. Or he was instructed not to talk about music at all, which is completely ridiculous because he's supposedly a musician. Call us crazy, but we feel like people who care even 20 percent about their work would have at least two minutes of things they'd like to say about it. After four minutes of discussing Miami's hottest neighborhood, we were told the interview was over. So what else are we supposed to think?
There's a pattern forming here. If we interview artists and they say (a) dumb shit that sounds totally rehearsed and sterile, or (b) have nothing to say at all, we figure they are faking it. Carnage fits right in. We actually really like his Bang! EP. We were so excited when that came out. Then he was all "trap is dead," and we were like "OK." But he still plays a bunch of trap in his sets, so whatever. We were stoked to interview him before a local appearance, but we were extremely disappointed when his answer to everything was "It's whatever." He didn't even have anything nice to say about his own mom, who bought his first production equipment and encouraged him to follow "his dreams" of being a DJ-producer. He didn't know what barbacoa was or that it was on the Chipotle menu, so why does he always talk about Chipotle? Either he was really high or he just really sucks. Ugh.
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Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.