Eight Signs You're Not VIP

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Photo by Lex Hernandez

Everyone wants to feel special and loved, but not everyone is a Very Important Person.

Of course, if VIP is really about anything at all, it's money and status and exclusivity. A person cannot be "very important" unless there are "less important" people at which to snicker and point from the bottle-service enclosure at a South Beach megaclub.

So where do we all fit in? Well, here are eight signs you're not VIP. Sorry to kill the vibe.

See Also: The Six People You Meet on South Beach

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Photo by Alex Markow

You Waited in Line to Get In
Being VIP means someone will bend over backward to get you in the club. Lines are for plebes with no connections. The Very Important People must be rushed into the club so they can start spending money ASAP. Tickets are an absolute no for them, because they're always on carefully curated guest lists. And even if their names disappear from said list, they've got someone's cell number already pulled up for special emergency escort servicing.

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Photo by Alex Markow

You're Looking at Price Tags
The cover to get into the club is $60. The card minimum at the bar is $50. And the bartender's going to put a holding charge of an additional $50 just to make sure you don't fuck them over. Wut? You just walked in and bought a Heineken for $16. Already this experience is giving you the cold sweats. If you're doing mental mathematics between drops, you're not VIP.

See also: Six Reasons to Never Have Sex With a DJ

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1 comments
Abel Alexander
Abel Alexander

1. If you're reading this article to find out if you're a VIP, you're probably not a VIP.

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