How weird was it to wake up this past weekend and not immediately jump on the Metrorail bound for Ultra Music Festival?

After two consecutive weeks of fist-pumping, (almost) naked raver bros, nipple pasties, and Molly, the earliest stages of rave withdrawal were starting to creep into our central nervous system.

But thank God for Azealia Banks, who just debuted the music video for her Angel Haze dis track, "No Problems." Aside from being a gnarly club banger, the video is also a look back at Ultra Music Festival, 'cause the whole thing was shot during Miami's biggest dance party.

Check out the extremely detailed breakdown after the cut.

See also:
-Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Naked Dancing Dude Gets Arrested at Ultra 2013 (NSFW VIDEO)
-Top Ten Twerking Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-50 WTF Quotes From Ultra Music Festival 2013
-Toothpaste Man and Nine More Crazies at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
-Ultra Music Festival 2013: The Complete Coverage

More »

Boom! You're pregnant! Or worse!

Yo, listen up. Cassidy has a public service announcement, and it's mad serious and relevant to your lifes.

When you see a hot-ass mami and she's shakin' her jelly, you've got to get in it. But you can't be lovin' them guts raw, dawg. Like Snoop said: "Ain't no pussy good enough to get burned while I'm up in it."

Some of y'all be sleepin' in the goodie trap. Some of y'all think it's just a game. So Cassidy is reminding you that freakin' be serious business, and he's doing it "Condom Style."

See also:
-Rick Ross Smokes His Weight in Jamaican Weed: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-Lil Wayne and DJ Paris Hilton's Sex Tape: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-LeBron Raps, Popping Million Mollies in Five Minutes: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
More »

LeBron James is so #ballswag on the court, he can pop a molly and sweat it out like his first name was Trinidad.

In fact, Trinidad James and King James have a lot in common. The rapper gives it up to them "hipster bitches." The basketballer rides the Miami critical mass. They've both expressed at least a modest interest in fashion. And they both seem to know the words to Trinidad's hit "All Gold Everything."

Just the other day, the champion player was caught mouthing the rap jam in the middle of a Heat game. What's even better, is someone set the clip to the original music, then looped it for five minutes straight.

Goddamn it, Internet, we love you.

See also:
-ESPN Viral Video Tells LeBron Haters to STFU
-Miami Heat's "All of the Lights" Video: Is The Big Three Actually a Boy Band?
-2 Chainz, Lil Wayne, and LeBron James at B.O.A.T.S. Tour in Miami
More »

¡Ay Cojones!

Justin Bieber's balls are safe. Phew.

However, Canada's most popular pair of 18-year-old pop nuts came mighty close to soaking in some sick fuck's mason jar full of formaldehyde.

Police say that convicted murderer and rapist Dana Martin hired Mark Staake and his nephew Tanner Ruane, two men he met at Southern New Mexico Correctional Facility in Las Cruces, to castrate and kill the "Baby" singer and his bodyguard following a recently sold-out gig at Madison Square Garden, according to Billboard.

But luckily, police intervened before the would-be assassins got away with Bi-Bi's testes. Check out an extremely detailed breakdown of the murder and castration plot after the cut.

See also:
-Justin Bieber Pukes on Stage!
-Justin Bieber's Sex Tape: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-Justin Bieber's Fans Want To Breathe His Farts, Shower In His Vomit
More »

Don't let Skrillex near your old NES games. He'll fuck them shits up.

That's the take-away message of Skrillex Quest, a new glitched-out collaboration between the dubstep dynamo and browser-adventure king John Oda.

Based on the original gold-plated Legend of Zelda, the simple RPG features about 30 minutes to an hour of gameplay, a super-meta plot, and a bunch of your Skrillex favorites.

Too scared of the drop to play it yourself? Don't worry, Crossfade's got the extremely detailed breakdown.

See also:
-Ten Reasons to Not Hate Skrillex
-Ten Best DJ Booths in EDM: From DJ Shadow to Skrillex, Avicii, and Daft Punk
-Ten Richest DJs: From Pauly D to Deadmau5, Swedish House Mafia, Skrillex, and Tiesto
-A Skrillex Christmas and Ten Other Outrageous Light Displays Synched With Crappy Music

More »

You will not believe what DJ Paris Hilton did last night.

She got exposed a new collabo track with Lil Wayne. And we here at Crossfade think she just might have "bust it wide open for a Trukfit sweater." Or at least for a 16-bar feature.

In her new unreleased single, which sounds a lot like an Afrojack song for some reason (he produced it), DJ Paris gets real clubby with the Young Money weirdo while he goes off about how much he wants to spend "one night in Paris."

Woah ... Check the cut for an extremely detailed breakdown.

See also:
-Lil Wayne Pays Miami Strippers $1000 to Fight: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-Justin Bieber's Sex Tape: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-Miley Cyrus's Dubstep Sex Tape: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown
-Paris Hilton's DJ Debut Sucked Balls: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

More »

Bitches love cake.

Two years ago, if you told us cute little Hannah Montana would chop off all her hair and make a sexually explicit song with dubstep producer and porn star enthusiast Borgore, we would have LOL-ed in your face.

But not only has Miley Cyrus and Mr. Gore recorded a song about getting mad pussy, they rubbed each other down with cake in the new music video.

Yes, times are changing, and it may seem strange, but that's only because it is. Check out how weird these two get with Crossfade's extremely detailed breakdown of Miley's sex tape, AKA the new "Decisions" music video.

UPDATE Miley's been offered $1 million to straight up girl-on-girl porn. Anyone surprised?

See also:
-Miley Cyrus Loves Penis (Cake)
-Miley Cyrus Flashes Side Boob, Says Sex Is "Cool"
-Miley Cyrus Rebrands, Explores Her Sexuality Like "Every 18 Year Old"
-Miley Cyrus Makes Sexy Vid With Miami-Born Porn Star Jessie Andrews

More »

Justin Bieber is a fucking cock tease.

Remember when we here at Crossfade totally called the impending leak of sexy-time pics and vids following the news of Justin Bieber's stolen laptop? Well, we were 100-percent right. But it's just gotten even more complicated and convoluted.

Yesterday, after some alleged Bieber dick flicks, a ruthless Twitter troll called @gexwy started a countdown to a XXX video release. Well, the #noon deadline has come and gone, and all we got was a new music clip with Nicki Minaj. We feel cheated.

See also:
-Justin Bieber Pukes on Stage!
-Justin Bieber's Fans Want To Breathe His Farts, Shower In His Vomit
-Justin Bieber's "Personal Footage" Stolen: Was the Biebz Hiding Secret Sex Tape?
More »

Wow, Chris Brown is such a bummer that we're thinking about moving to The People's Republic of China so we can't even Google him.

But alas ... With each passing day, Breezy does something weird (like get a ratchet neck tattoo of a battered woman that kinda looks like Rihanna), says something stupid (everything he says), or throws a full-blown temper tantrum.

And last night, Brown kept the streak alive, uploading an almost two-minute video of himself drunk out of his mind and talking shit like it was going out of style. You've gotta wonder why he'd post this kind of video. Oh, yeah ... 'Cause he's an attention whore!

Here is Crossfade's extremely detailed breakdown.

See also:
-Chris Brown's Rihanna Neck Tattoo and the Six Most Ratchet Rapper Tats Ever
-Rihanna Caught Sucking Chris Brown's Face in NYC! Five Reasons for RiRi to Get Out
-Chris Brown and Ten Other Famous Wife-Beaters
More »

Lil Wayne cannot recall a goddamn thing.

From his time behind bars on Rikers Island to selling the most records of any musician in 2008, the YMCMB mastermind has plum forgotten his whole life.

At least, that seems to be his go-to response in recently released deposition videos, recorded during his lawsuit proceedings against Quincy Jones III over a documentary the star calls a "scandalous portrayal."

Hilarity ensues as Wayne proceeds to make Jones's lawyer Pete Ross his bitch.

See also:
-YMCMB: Seven Signs of the Young Money Empire's Decline
-Lil Wayne's "No Frank Ocean" Slur Is the New "No Homo"
-Lil Wayne Re-Ups Retirement Rumors: "Rap Is Taking a Backseat to Skating"
More »