"Miami! You're rockin'!"

​What does it mean to rock?

That is the eternal question. And according to StubHub, "the world's largest ticket marketplace," it's all about a willingness to shell out obscene amounts of money (approx. $130) for resale tix to U2's 360° Tour at Sun Life Stadium.

Earlier today, the "eBay company" released its 2011 Concert Ticket Sales Report, naming Miami the "Third Most Rockin' City in 2011."
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​A memo from Uncle Luke to all y'all haters who seem to think the hip-hop industry should institute some sorta superstrict mandatory retirement policy ... Screw you. That shit's ageist.

In today's edition of Luke's Gospel, entitled "Jay-Z, Eminem, and Rick Ross Are Never Too Old For Rap," New Times's resident rap expert and anti-discrimination advocate makes the case for middle-aged mike manglers.

Because, according to Luke, "Hip-hop is not some kiddie fad music anymore."
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​For every fat, drunk American football fan who couldn't even sit (or, uh, dance) through Madonna's 12-minute Super Bowl XLVI halftime bonanza, there are millions of giddy pop music fans in party towns like Istanbul, Zagreb, Warsaw, Kansas City, and St. Paul who'd be totally willing to blow their entire bank load just to spend two hours singing along to "Give Me All Your Luvin'" while getting middle-fingered "Like a Virgin" by the "Material Girl."

Well, good news for them ... The Sticky & Sweet 53 year old has announced her 2012 World Tour. Or as the "Official Press Release" says, "Madonna is having a huge party and everyone's invited."
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"Been stuck on this island ... And now we're back."

​No doubt, those ¡Mayday! homies ain't afraid to hustle.

As we here at Crossfade reported last Thursday, the 305's raddest hip-hop collective is already prepping for Tech N9ne's Hostile Takeover tour, an insane sked of 90 shows in 99 days with Machine Gun Kelly, Krizz Kaliko, Prozak, and Stevie Stone.

But apparently, three solid months of road work is no big thang. So while Bernz, Wrekonize, Plex Luthor, Gianni Ca$h, Mr. L.T. Hopkins, and Nonymous are frantically packing their bags full of clean clothes, killer shades, and "emergency music supplies," they're also slamming together the final tracks for Take Me to Your Leader, their debut album on Tech's Strange Music label.
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​When Crossfade read this week's edition of Luke's Gospel, entitled "2 Live Crew Is Reuniting Because Our Fans Want To Shake That Booty," we got, like, "Me So Horny!"-level excited.
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Photo by Leslie Austin

​Let's get high with a hobo.

Grand Central Park's having its proverbial cherry popped tomorrow night with a ribbon-cutting ceremony and inaugural concert by bilingual alt-electro group Elastic Bond.

The five-acre, multi-use recreation space was designed to generate a pedestrian-friendly environment in Overtown. But when the Bond hits the stage tomorrow night, Crossfade will be sharing dirty needles and Ramen with a homeless dude while smoking crack from a makeshift pipe made of used plumbing supplies and railroad parts.
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Photo by Derick G

​Back in the hot and sweaty summer of 2011, local rap crew ¡Mayday! set out on an 82-city blitz across the United States of America and Canada alongside the band's boss, Tech N9ne, and the rest of his Strange Music fam.

That cross-country trek was called the All 6's and 7's North American tour. It lasted almost three whole months. There was weed, whiskey, and women. And tragically, bullets flew in Reno.

"It was fuckin' crazy. Absolute insanity," Bernz told Crossfade a few months ago. "We played a show every night, with one day off every 20 days. Just grinding every day."

But no doubt, Miami's ¡Mayday! homies ain't afraid to hustle even harder. And this March, they'll be hooking up again with Tech N9ne for his Hostile Takeover tour, an almost non-stop sked of 90 shows in 99 days.
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The Grateful Dead and Furthur's Phil Lesh.

​As that big, burning ball in the sky (you know, the sun, man) completes its crazy circular trip throughout the zodiac along the eliptic (that's, like, a "year" in square speak), we here at Crossfade are prepping Major Mushroom's Interstellar Psychedelic Love Bus (our hand-painted 1966 Volkswagen Kombi) for another totally righteous run to Live Oak's Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park.

That's right, brother ... In just 94 short days, it'll be time for the Wanee Festival again. There's gonna be tons of dancing barefoot around raging bonfires, frolicking in the forest with hippie chick fairies, tripping out, tiptoeing through the morning dew, and talking to trees.

Oh, and the fest just announced its lineup too. So we'll be spreading the spirit with The Allman Brothers Band, Deadheads Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, and Mickey Hart, plus former Doors keyboard dude Ray Manzarek, bluesman Buddy Guy, and Gov't Mule.

See the cut for Wanee 2012's full roster.
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Deadmau5 will reopen Mansion on January 20 and 21.

​On Tuesday, mansionmiami.com read: "MANSION IS CLOSED."

Fans freaked out ("WTF? So pissed") and South Beach haters rejoiced ("Finally!!! That club was garbage") while others just shrugged.

But we here at Crossfade suspected that the Opium Group nightclub was simply pulling a practical joke on the clubbing public, shuttering temporarily to give that "seven-year-old SoBe bitch ... a facelift."

Well, we were right. And just now, the Mansion website has been hijacked by an ad for a two-night reopening party with Deadmau5.
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​UPDATE Mansion and Deadmau5 have just announced a two-night reopening party for January 20 and 21.

Log onto mansionmiami.com and the nightlub's site has been scrubbed clean, except for a shocking three-word statement in big, bold red letters: "MANSION IS CLOSED."

That same mysterious message also went out over Mansion's official Twitter feed and Facebook account earlier today, causing SoBe clubbers to express shock ("What?!?!"), anger ("WTF? So pissed"), sadness ("Mansion will be missed!"), indifference ("Lol oh well"), and, uh, happiness ("Finally!!! That club was garbage") over the sudden news.

Meanwhile, Crossfade contacted The Opium Group for comment. "Mansion will be closed for the forseeable future," senior vice president of communications Vanessa Menkes tells us. "We will be releasing an official announcement next week."
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